Shame, Lies, and Love
by AuroraB908
Summary: Bella suffers a horrific trauma and though she and Edward have never been close, they draw closer because of the experience and her growing dependence on him and his protection. Edward helps Bella heal and Bella helps Edward find the one thing he has been missing in his century of life, love.
1. Chapter 1:Torment

Chapter 1: Torment

"Hi Charlie, it's Alice Cullen"

"Hi Alice, aren't you at that Spring Break Dance-thing with Bella? You and Rosalie? Is something wrong?"

"No, no" Alice quickly interjected. "Everything is alright. Bella just had a little tiff with one of the girls here and she's a little upset. She just needs some girl time. Is it OK if she spends the night with us, tonight?"

"Well, I guess it's OK. Are you sure that's all it is? Bella isn't hurt or anything and just trying to protect her old man, is she? You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Alice?"

Alice swallowed hard. "Of course not, Charlie. I'm sure she will be nice and calm in the morning and you can talk to her then, OK? Carlisle will be able to vouch for our whereabouts." That seemed to calm Charlie and he sighed.

"OK, then. Tell Bella I said to…keep her chin up or something wittier if you can think of it, ok, Alice?"

"Thanks, Charlie, bye!" And Alice practically threw the phone in her purse before turning back to Bella and Rosalie.

"Rose, has she said anything, yet? Has she told you what happened?" Rosalie just shook her head and even she looked worried about Bella, though there had never been any love lost between the two.

"Bella? Bella? Can you hear me? I'm going to pick you up, now, ok? I'm going to take you to Carlisle." Alice said. Finally, Bella's eyes focused.

"N-n-n-o. NO! I'm fine, I fell, that's all. Just take me home."

"Bella, something happened to you, something bad, can you tell me?"

"Nothing happened, I'm fine."

"Bella, that is clearly not the case. I can smell the blood from here but it is too dark under the bleachers to see where it is coming from and you are human, which means you could go into shock out here. Let us get you help." Rosalie's authoritative voice always did make Bella fear her just a little and, in this case, just enough.

The two vampire friends of the human girl struggled to maintain their composure as the sweet aroma of Bella's blood reached their nostrils. Both tried not to breathe unless they had to speak, since breathing wasn't a vampire necessity.

Though Alice was at least 20 pounds lighter than Bella and several inches shorter, her vampire strength allowed her to quickly scoop Bella up, then the three made their way to the parking lot at an astonishing rate of speed. Once Alice lightly deposited Bella on the backseat and climbed in next to her, she saw the blood running down Bella's legs and her stomach churned. If she had been able to vomit, she surely would have from the realization of what had happened to her best friend.

"Rosalie, drive fast, she's bleeding badly."

"From where? I couldn't find any wounds." Then the two shared a meaningful look in the rearview mirror and Rosalie knew what Alice knew. She quickly picked up the phone. Bella heard her say Esme's name, their mother for all intents and purposes, and then their speech was so rapid, she understood nothing else.

"It's nothing Alice, I fell, that's all. I just fell." Alice moved to put her arm around Bella to help stop her shivering but Bella, taken by surprise at the touch, screeched and jumped to the farthest corner of the seat.

"I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean—" And Bella just cut off amid chattering teeth. Alice very slowly and very gently moved in to wrap her arms around Bella and gently rocked her, cooing softly and trying to soothe her.

In no time, they were at the Cullen house. Rose must have driven over 80 the entire way there and in a small town like Forks, WA where the pavement stays wet nearly every day of the year and a cop on the beat has nothing better to do than nail a few teenagers for reckless driving, this was quite a feat. Bella noticed that every light in the house was on but the only one she saw outside waiting for them was Esme. She was relieved about that. She couldn't stand facing the guys right now. Emmett with his constant jokes, Jasper with his constant blood thirst would be overwhelmed, which was probably why Rose had called ahead to warn him to be out of the house and Carlisle who, being a doctor, would probably be able to take one look at her and know exactly what had happened. She wasn't ready for that. But Esme was a welcome sight. She needed a Mom and with hers in Florida with Phil, Esme was certainly the next best thing.

Alice got out of the car and, with her vampire speed, was at Bella's side before Bella could even reach the handle. Alice opened the door and helped her stand up, leaning heavily against the car. Bella instantly noticed the blood she had gotten on Alice's insanely expensive designer prom dress and her face fell.

"Alice, I'm so sorry! I didn't m-m-mean t-t-to do that…." And then she trailed off and started to slump. Alice easily swept her up in her arms.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. You know I never wear the same thing twice, anyway!" That brought a slight grin to Bella's face and she felt the blood that had come from her nose but long since dried crack and then she curled into Alice like a child.

"Oh, God. Bella!" Was Esme's reaction until Rose reached her and whispered something so quickly, Bella couldn't understand.

"I wish you would stop doing that, Rose. It's like being around a group of people who speak a foreign language and they all get the inside joke but you don't."

"I apologize, Bella. You are no joke, I assure you. Alice is going to take you to Carlisle's study so that he can take a look at you, but we girls stick together and will be there the entire time." Instantly, Bella panicked.

"No, no, please. I don't want to see the guys. Please don't make me." It was Esme who stepped up to silence Bella with the grace of a mother's hand, though her "children" had all come to her as nearly adults and she had never bore any children of her own, she had that special maternal touch.

"Bella, calm down, it will be alright. Just us for now, ok? I've been Carlisle's unofficial nurse long enough to take a look at some minor cuts and bruises and we will talk, ok?" Just the four of us, would that be ok? Bella only nodded silently.

"I think I can walk, Alice. Besides, I feel a little silly with little, tiny you carrying what must look like lumber jack me." And Bella smiled at her best friend as Alice slowly stood her on her own two feet and then carefully placed an arm around her waist to keep her upright. Bella faltered a little but seemed to get her footing as she self-consciously tugged at her skirt, trying in vain to make it longer.

Suddenly, before Bella could register what she had heard, Esme was ushering them all into the house but the speed was painfully slow with Bella's injuries and they weren't fast enough to escape the arrival of Emmet, Jasper and Edward fresh from a hunt in the woods and sharing "mine was bigger" stories while they playfully shoved each other around. It was Edward who entered first and when he caught sight of Bella, ever the level-headed one of his brothers, he turned to the other two. Though Bella and Edward had never really been interested in getting to know one another, there was no particular animosity between the two. Just usually boring small talk. But when he saw her, realized she was bleeding, he snapped into protective mode.

"Get Jasper out of here, Bella's been hurt!" They looked confused for only a second but Emmett must have caught the lingering sent of human blood because he had Jasper by the arms and was dragging him through the woods and away from the house before Jazz knew what was about to hit him.

"What happened to her?" Edward's golden eyes flashed when he assessed Bella's chagrined face, the tugging of the skirt, the blood on her forehead, under her mouth, in her hair, and still trickling down her legs. It was obviously not a car accident or any kind of accident and he felt anger rise in him like hot bile and he felt as if he may lose the gallons of blood he had just gorged himself on in the woods.

"N-n-nothing. I just fell outside the gym. I-I-I…." Bella trailed off.

"Edward, why don't you go meet Carlisle in the kitchen? Bella needs a little girl-time, ok? Rose, would you mind going with him to let Carlisle know that Bella is fine and I am going to be playing nursemaid for a bit and we'll call him if Bella needs him?" There was clearly more meaning behind Esme's words but Bella was so lost in her own world and so ashamed and scared and broken all at the same time that she didn't notice.

"Of course. Edward?" Rosalie motioned for Edward to follow her and, only because it was at Esme's request, he did. Esme, Alice, and Bella continued on to Carlisle's study but Bella was too weak for the stairs so, once again, petite Alice had to carry her. Only this time, Bella was too mortified to find it amusing. She couldn't believe Edward had seen her like that.

"Alice?" Esme motioned with her eyes for Alice to remove the small mirror from the wall so that Bella couldn't see herself but Bella was so busy noticing the scratches on her arms that she didn't notice the exchange or the speed with which Alice did as she was asked.

"OK, Bella. First, I'm going to take a look at your face. There is a cut just in your hairline that looks like it may need stitches, and I can't do that, but we will make sure you are all cleaned up before Carlisle comes in to sew you up, ok?" She didn't pause for an answer, just went right to the gash on Bella's head and started poking around. She and Alice worked in silence for a while, cleaning cuts, washing off the blood from her nose, assessing some bruising on her bare shoulder.

"Good, I don't think your nose is broken. But you may have black eyes come tomorrow. We will just have to wait and see. Though judging by how much blood has drained, that might not happen." Esme quickly added when she saw how horrified Bella looked at the prospect of black eyes. "Now, Bella, can I take a look at your back? Would you mind removing the straps on your dress? Alice can give you something to cover up your chest with, ok?" Bella nodded and took the towel from Alice. She hesitated and everyone froze.

"I don't want to get any blood on your beautiful towels." She said with all earnestness, Alice and Esme smiled to each other. Bella was always worried about everyone else. This trauma hadn't changed that about her.

"Don't worry. Alice never lets us use those more than once, either!" And that seemed to mollify Bella so she covered herself as Esme undid the zipper on her dress and she let the top fall. Bella had cuts down her back, and down the back of the dress, from the large rocks they use under the bleachers. They serve a dual purpose. They keep the grass from growing and the kids from having a place to lie down to make out. But they had done quite a number on Bella's back with at least 20 scratches, some of them deep enough to qualify as cuts. Esme began the tedious task of cleaning them up as she noticed Alice was looking a little bit shaky.

"Alice, honey, why don't you take a little break. Bella and I will be fine, right Bella?" Bella looked stricken, then noticed Alice's black eyes and saw her shaking hands and realized how difficult this must all be for her friend. The smell of human blood was almost unbearable to a vampire. Esme and Carlisle had had more practice than the rest of them at being around blood, seeing as how Carlisle was a doctor and Esme had been his nurse years ago.

"Go, Alice. I'll be fine. Why don't you go find yourself a nice elk or something?" Bella smiled at Alice and Alice wrinkled her nose. Bella knew how much Alice hated smaller game. She was a bear kind of girl.

"OK, but just a little break. I will come back and you can call for me if you need me, ok, Bella? Want me to send in Rose?"

"No offense, but if you are shaky and you like me, Rose would probably eat me on the spot, so thanks, but I'm ok." They both giggled a little and Alice flitted out of the room with her usual speed and grace.

"How are you doing, Bella? Does anything hurt?

"Everything hurts, Esme. I feel like I've been hit by a truck."

"Bella, you know we are going to have to talk about what happened, right? You know I'm aware that you didn't just fall down outside of the gym. I've seen you do some clumsy things, but, Bella, you didn't do this to yourself…did you?" Esme gently implored as she cleaned the superficial wounds on Bella's back with alcohol and applied a thin ointment.

"I know" Bella said as she absentmindedly played with the strap from her dress, which was now in her lap. "I just don't know if I can, Esme." She said through tears.

"Take it nice and slow and just start from the beginning."

Bella took a deep breath and started her story.

"I was standing by the back door to the gym. Alice and Rosalie were dancing and I, with my two left feet, decided to sit that one out. I was leaning against the wall when someone opened the back door and a face peered around the corner. I smiled, thinking it was another party-goer, but I didn't recognize his face and he looked a little too old to be at prom but before the warning bells registered, he grabbed my arm and dragged me out the door and under the bleachers where two of his friends were waiting." Bella paused.

"Go on, Bella, what happened next?" Bella shook her head furiously, trying to stop the images. Esme looked as if she would be crying, if vampires could cry.

"I don't remember much before Alice and Rosalie found me. I don't know how they found me, come to think of it, probably followed my scent or something. I remember the smell of booze on the men's breath. I remember their sneering laughter when I cried out from the pain. I remember them taking turns, but that's all I remember. I don't remember what they did to me. Though I do remember that one of them had a knife." She said almost absentmindedly.

Esme put the last bandage on Bella's back and walked to the front of her and enveloped her in a motherly hug, trying not to let Bella see the utter horror and disgust on her face. She kept saying how sorry she was over and over again and she rocked Bella. Finally, she pulled back and looked very seriously at Bella.

"You know that there are injuries I'm not equipped to deal with. We need Carlisle for those." Before Bella Could protest, she quickly continued. "I will not have you bleeding to death or going into septic shock on my watch, Bella Swan. Do you understand? I will get Alice and she can be here with you the whole time, I promise.

"No!" Bella exclaimed. "I'm fine now. You bandaged me up. The other blood is no big deal." She looked down at her bloody legs, now dried and crusted, embarrassed. "I was just a virgin, that's all." Bella whispered.

"No, Bella. It's much more than that. Hang on a second. I think you need to hear something. She walked to the door and Bella started to panic, worried that she was leaving, but she just paused and called for Rosalie. 'Why Rosalie of all people? Sure, she was being nice tonight, but Rosalie hates my guts', Bella thought. Rose appeared at the door within a split second and they were whispering. Rosalie approached with what appeared to be a genuine smile.

"Bella, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, now, I just need a shower." Bella said as she pulled up the front of her dress and placed the towel on the desk. Esme makes a great nurse." She smiled at Esme who busied herself cleaning up. "It looks like I might need stitches on my head, though, and Carlisle will have to do those."

"Bella, I've never told you the story of how I was dying as a human and why Carlisle turned me into this," Rosalie said with a trace of disgust as she looked herself up and down. " It is a very personal and difficult one to tell, but you need to hear it right now. "

"OK, strange timing, but if you feel like you need to tell me, I'm here for you." Rosalie smiled. Bella, always the martyr.

"I was dating the wealthiest man in town. He was a few years older than I, I was just a child, really, but we were to be wed the following spring. One night I was walking home rather late from visiting a friend of mine who had just delivered her first child when I saw him in an alley with his friends. Believe it or not, I was a bit naïve back then. I stopped to say hello. To make a long story short, they were drunk, I was pretty, and they took turns with me before leaving me, bloody and broken, in the alley to die. That's where Carlisle found me. He took me back to the hospital and tried to save me, but I had lost too much blood and gone into shock so he did what he thought was the right thing to do and he changed me instead." Rose paused and closed her eyes, collecting herself.

"Bella, if you don't let Carlisle look at you, you could die tonight. You could bleed to death, go into shock, or sepsis could set in and you could die a slow and painful death. I'm sure that isn't what you want, now is it?" Rosalie chastised as if she were talking to an obstinate child.

Bella looked down at her hands and thought for a moment. Esme and Rosalie looked nervously back and forth wondering if they had pushed her too far, too fast.

"Is it wrong that a part of me wants exactly that?" Bella whispered, ashamed to admit that death was preferable to the humiliation she was going to have to suffer. Rosalie gave Bella a genuine hug and when she pulled back, her face was sad and her expression melancholy.

"No. Sometimes I wish I had died that night, myself. But I didn't. I found Emmett, I have a family, I have hobbies and ways to fill my time that make me glad I'm still kind of alive. Although I would have preferred it to be in human form, I'm still glad I didn't die that night. And there will come a time when you will be, too. So how about I get Carlisle, now?" Rosalie pushed.

"OK, get Carlisle." Within a matter of seconds, there was a rap at the door and when Esme answered, Bella was taken aback by Carlisle's presence. Then it dawned on her. Vampire hearing. They had all heard everything.


	2. Chapter 2: Shame

Chapter 2: Shame

"Hello, Bella." Carlisle entered the room with a warm smile and that look that said 'I pity you'. The one Bella knew she was going to have to get used to.

"Hi Carlisle" Bella responded as she looked away and busied herself trying to cover up. She knew that it was ridiculous, considering where Carlisle was going to be looking in a few moments, but Bella couldn't help herself. She noticed Rosalie quietly heading toward the door and panicked.

"Rose, will you please stay?" Bella sounded so alarmed and desperate to keep Rosalie in the room that it shocked everyone into silence and stillness for just a moment before Rose smiled and replied.

"Of course, Bella. Whatever you need."

"If it doesn't bother you, that is…you know."

"No, Bella, my story took place a long time ago. I will be fine. Are you sure you want me to stay? I could get Alice?"

"I'm sure."

"Did I hear my name? Hi Bells, you look much better, how are you feeling?" There was that same look filled with pity. Esme, Carlisle, Alice, and even Rosalie wore it. It made Bella feel sick. She was determined not to let her father find out. She couldn't stand it if he looked at her that way, too.

"I'm ok, Alice." She said before turning to Carlisle.

"Carlisle, I'm going to let you examine me, but there are some ground rules and they are non-negotiable. First, no police. Second, no one tells Charlie. My Dad doesn't need this and I can't stand the thought of him looking at me the way all of you are looking at me now. Third, tonight never gets mentioned again, please. Never. And I know the guys are listening downstairs and I want them sworn to secrecy, as well. No one knows. Ever. " Bella said all of this while staring at her lap, never looking up at Carlisle.

"Bella, of course no one needs to know anything you don't want them to know. You don't need to make any deal, ok? I would encourage you to go to the police to catch the criminals who hurt you, but it is up to you what you do. We are just here to make sure you are safe, right Carlisle?" It was Esme who answered for Carlisle.

"Of course, Bella. Now why don't I have a look at your head? Esme is fairly certain you will need stitches and you've already bled through her bandage, so she is probably right. Let's get the head wound taken care of and move from there, shall we?" He moved forward to take the bandage off and revealed the three inch gash that ran along her hairline at the top of her forehead. It took 12 stitches before he declared himself finished.

"Now, are there any cuts on your legs?"

"I don't know, I haven't looked"

"May I?" Carlisle asked. Bella nodded and grabbed Alice's hand on one side and Rosalie's on the other.

"Wait, are you guys oK?" She looked back and forth between them. Both nodded, obviously not breathing and unable to talk. "OK, Carlisle." He pulled Bella's dress up just high enough to avoid showing her anything too personal. He wanted to take things slowly. There on her thighs were two large gashes that were going to have to be stitched and six marks that looked like brands burned into her skin. He gasped before he could help himself and Bella noticed everyone's wide eyes. She looked down and up again quickly.

"I forgot about the ring and the lighter." She said softly. "Will they scar?"

"Thankfully they aren't burned very deeply, Bella. You will have scars for a time, but they will fade slowly until you won't be able to see them at all." She nodded. Alice hugged her gently and Bella stiffened at the comfort, though she didn't understand why.

It seemed like an eternity passed before Carlisle exclaimed that he was finished stitching and dressing the wounds. Bella knew what was next and she was terrified.

"Bella, I need to do an internal exam. You are still bleeding and I fear you have some internal injuries. I will do what I can here, I promise, but you may have to go to the hospital.

"NO!" Bella exclaimed in voice that shocked them all. "I WON'T go to the hospital. The authorities would get involved, my dad, NO!"

"OK, calm down. Let me take a look first, ok? This will be unpleasant and painful. Do you want a sedative, first?" Bella just shook her head. The thought of being sedated while a man was invading her again was horrifying. "I think it would be best if you lie on the desk, girls, could you clean it off, please?" He directed to Alice and Rosalie. "And Esme, could you get 3 clean sheets? Tear one into strips I can use to soak up any blood while I work and then stay close by?" She nodded and everyone busied about their task. It was Rosalie who approached her quietly.

"Bella, do you have any underwear on to remove?" She whispered as quietly as possible, though Bella was sure everyone in the house could still hear her, she appreciated the attempt at privacy. Bella shook her head, blushed brightly, and looked down at her shaking hands. Rosalie nodded, placed her hands on Bella's for a few seconds, and then finished the task at hand.

Esme spread one sheet on top of the desk and Alice helped Bella stand and walk slowly to desk where she sat and swung her legs up and a second sheet was spread over her from her waist down.

"OK, Bella, have you ever had a gynecological exam before?" She blushed nearly purple and shook her head.

"Normally they aren't that bad, but you likely have some tearing and some bruising and swelling to the area. Unfortunately, this is probably going to hurt a great deal and there is no way for me to really numb the area first. I apologize in advance. I will try to be as fast and as gentle as I can, I promise. Now I need you to slide all the way down to the end of the table. I'm going to ask you to pull your legs up and rest the bottoms of your feet on the edge of the desk while Esme and Rosalie each support a leg so you don't have to do anything but relax into their hands, ok? Alice will be talking to you the entire time I'm working, just look into her eyes and listen to her voice and it will be over before you know it. Did you understand all of that?" Bella merely nodded as everyone took their place.

As Esme grabbed one leg and Rosalie the other, Bella began to whimper in panic. Alice quickly stepped in, took both hands and leaned onto Bella so that she couldn't sit up.

"Look at me, Bella! What could be prettier to look at?' She giggled as Bella felt her dress go up over her knees and she started to cry out. "No, sshhhh, it's ok. It's just Carlisle, he will be quick and as painless as he can be. But, you have to let him do this. OK?" By this point, Bella wasn't listening. She was struggling but everyone held her steady as Carlisle took his instruments and entered her. There was an ear-splitting scream from Bella that made the guys downstairs jump and start to run up to her before Edward read Carlisle's mind and shook his head to stop them.

"Oh, Bella, it's almost over! Just a little while longer." But there was no coaxing or calming her. She screamed in both physical and emotional pain throughout the exam and treatment of the wounds and Carlisle tried hard to hurry but be thorough. Finally, she felt the instruments leave her body and her skirt go back down.

"Let me go, please let me go!" Everyone backed away as Bella jumped from the table, ran for the corner of the room, sat behind the small leather sofa, and began rocking herself back and forth. She was in more pain than when she got to the Cullen house and she was so scared. She rocked and rocked and no one could touch her. She heard a knock at the door and slid further behind the curved edged of the leather sofa in Carlisle's study, terrified of who would be at the door. It was Edward. She wondered what he wanted, he had never even liked her, did he come to gloat? He whispered something to Carlisle and it appeared that they were arguing, but finally Carlisle nodded.

"Hey, Bella. I hear you've been having a rough night." She looked up at him in astonishment. A 'rough night'? But he didn't have that look. The one of pity. He looked at her as he always had. She nodded at him.

"I imagine you would like a shower?" Again, she nodded. "Why don't you let Esme help you get into the shower and you will feel a great deal better, ok? I will even be your chariot down to Alice's bedroom. Would that be alright?" To everyone's astonishment, Bella slowly put her arm around Edward's shoulder and let him lift her very carefully from the floor.

"Esme, how about you go start that shower? Rosalie, why don't you go find Bella something comfortable to wear when she is finished? Carlisle, I trust the bandages are all waterproof?" Edward gently carried her to Alice's bathroom and placed her even more gently on the vanity chair Esme had placed near the bathtub.

"We guys will try to work on making you something to eat while the girls help you in here. Ladies, she's all yours!" Edward turned and left the room, still with no look of pity when Bella winced or whimpered in pain. She appreciated that more than she could ever tell him. He was the only one who knew what had happened that hadn't looked at her in THAT way. She had no idea why that made her trust him when the others hadn't been able to come near her but she hoped that hadn't hurt anyone's feelings.

"Carlisle recommended something baggy so I brought in a pair of my baggy sweatpants and one of Edward's t-shirts. I don't really have any baggy shirts and Esme and Alice are both smaller than you are." Rosalie hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I had a pair of brand new underwear, and I brought you one of Esme's sports bras. She is the closest to your size in that area. Is that all ok?" Bella nodded at her, wanting to relieve her nervousness.

"What, nothing from Emmett or Jasper?" She croaked out with a small smile.

"Not yet, but tomorrow, who knows?" Rose smiled back and left the clothing on the counter before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Bella and Esme were left alone.

"How are you feeling?" Esme asked, "Do you feel like you can stand up in the shower? It is not a good idea to take a bath right now while the wounds are fresh so a shower only, ok?" Bella nodded mutely and slowly took off the ruined dress and threw it to the floor in disgust. Her body was a myriad of bruises forming in different sizes, shapes, and degrees of blue and purple. Esme stifled a gasp and looked away. "I will just stay close in case you need me for anything." Esme said as Bella nodded and closed the curtain around her.

Finally, at least a modicum of privacy. She hurt all over. She really did feel like a truck had run over her and backed up and run over her a few more times. The stitches pulled and she gently washed around them, making sure not to disrupt the bandages and get the ugly, black threads wet. She scrubbed her skin raw with water that ran as hot as she could stand it until it ran cold.

"Bella, honey, are you nearly finished? You should probably lie down to rest." Esme had been incredibly patient so Bella sighed and turned off the water. Esme handed her a fluffy towel and she gingerly dried herself off, everything beginning to ache or throb. She stepped out of the shower, wrapped in the towel, and Esme stood with the clothing.

"Do you need any help, dear, or do you think you can handle it by yourself? I can step out if you'd like." Bella looked panic-stricken as Esme offered to leave the room.

"No! Please don't leave me alone! I-I-I'm sorry…"

"No need to apologize, Bella. I understand. How about if I just turn around and give you some privacy. You can call me if you need any help, ok?" Bella nodded, a little embarrassed by her outburst. She felt like a child afraid of the dark.

"Um, Esme?" Bella asked after several moments of rustling clothing.

"Yes?"

"Could you help me with the bra and shirt? My back is killing me and I can't get my arms over my head." Esme turned to find a blushing Bella holding the clothing tightly to her chest.

"Of course, hon, I can do that much!" She smiled and walked behind Bella, much to Bella's relief. Bella handed her the bra and they managed to get that on with some difficulty. The shirt was much easier. It was Edward's gray t-shirt. The one from biology the day they'd actually spoken to each other for the first time.

"Would you like me to comb your hair? Maybe braid it back for you?" Esme asked. Bella nodded, relieved that she wouldn't have to deal with the long, tangled mess herself. She just didn't have the strength or energy for it. Esme worked quietly as she deftly combed out the tangled mess and then swiftly put it into one long braid down Bella's back.

"There, that should do it! Are you hungry? Edward went to the grocery store and picked up a few things he thought you might like. I'm sure he stocked the entire kitchen. Why don't we go downstairs and see?"

"I will try to eat since he went to all that trouble." Bella said, wincing at the thought of trying to choke down food. Just the thought made her feel like vomiting.

"Good, let's go. Do you need me to carry you or are you OK to walk?"

"If we go slowly, I think I can walk. It's the cuts on my thighs that hurt and I think they were trying to knock me out with a rock, which is how I got the cut on my forehead so I have a woozy type of headache." Bella replied.

"Of course, I will see if Carlisle has anything for a headache in his bag." Esme said as she let Bella lean into her and the two slowly made their way out of the bathroom. To their surprise, Edward was waiting outside the door.

"Your chariot awaits, Milady." He said with a mock bow. He noticed how the hot water had brought more of the bruises to the surface, but he very carefully kept his expression light and playful as he carefully picked Bella up, saw her wince, and adjusted her in his arms until the pained look went away.

"Shall we?" He asked, sensing that control was important to Bella right now. She nodded and blushed and Edward started out the door with her in his arms.

As she left the safety of the bathroom, heading into Alice's bedroom, she saw the processional waiting to see her. They were all lined up along the stairwell. Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Rosalie, and Alice all stood with that same pitying look on their faces. Bella hated that and without thinking, buried her face into Edward's chest to shut them out. Esme trailed behind and Alice fell in line behind her.

"You should be comfortable here for now, Bella. Emmett has a tray of food we would like you to try and eat. Food and fluids help stave off the shock, ok?"

"I will try, Bella said weakly, exhausted and anxious all at the same time. Emmett proudly produced a tray of pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

"I made it myself, Bella!" Emmett exclaimed. Bella knew because it was the only thing he could cook for her when she visited. But she didn't mind. She smiled at him and picked up a bite of pancake to make him feel as if he had contributed. It tasted like sawdust to her, but she chewed and smiled and she swallowed anyway, willing the bite to stay down.

Edward was hovering, looking strangely pained but he didn't look like he pitied her. There was something else in his eyes. Bella couldn't tell what it was, but she preferred it to the pity the others felt. She wasn't one to wallow in other's pity.

"Bella, would you like some privacy?"

"No! I don't want to be alone. Edward, would you stay?" Everyone looked stunned, especially Alice who looked a little hurt, but slowly he nodded.

"If you wish, I will stay as long as you'd like, Bella." Edward replied and sat down in the rocking chair next to Alice's bed.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I guess I'm old fashioned and even though I know you could rip the head off of anybody who came after me, I feel safer with a guy standing guard, ya know?" She hated to see Alice hurt, but she couldn't stand that look any longer. "I just want to get some sleep." Alice smiled and nodded.

"I get that, come on, everyone, let's leave Bella to get some rest." Alice turned to Bella again. "I will be a whisper away if you need me, ok? And we will talk more in the morning, right?" Bella nodded and smiled, dreading the coming of sunrise when Alice was sure to return.

"Goodnight everyone." When they all walked out of the room, Bella finally collapsed back on the bed, her breathing labored and her heart racing. She had forced a smile for so long, she thought her face was breaking. Her neck already sore from the hands that had been around it at some point, bruising her soft ivory flesh a deep purple made it more difficult. She didn't realize she was shaking until Edward placed a hand on hers to still the movement.

"Bella, are you alright? Would you like me to get Esme or Alice?" All Bella could do was shake her head and close her eyes. She felt the little bit of food she had forced down making its way back up and sat up as quickly as she could before making her way to bathroom door. No one was outside, thank goodness. Edward silently followed and when she bent over the toilet, he quietly picked up her hair. She wretched until she thought her ribs would break and she was weak. When she was finally finished, Edward walked with her to the sink and handed her the toothbrush she had used earlier. She felt silly, but grateful. He never said a word, just waited until she was finished. When she started walking for the door, Bella stumbled and grabbed onto the sink. Edward quickly grabbed her up into his arms and carried her out into the hall. She saw him shake his head just slightly and assumed someone was out there, maybe all of them, but she couldn't face them now and just buried her face in Edward's shirt until he got her back into the bedroom and placed her gently onto the bed.

"Are you feeling better?" Edward asked quietly as he brushed her hair from her face.

"A little, thank you."

"Why don't you sleep now. I promise I won't go anywhere." Then Bella realized what the look was on Edward's face and why she wanted him around more than the others. While they felt sorry for her, felt sick for what happened to her, Edward was angry. He looked almost as angry as Bella and that gave her some comfort. Nothing like having a badass vampire pissed off at the guys who hurt you. Nothing at all.


	3. Chapter 3: The Morning After

Chapter 3: The Morning After

Bella had slept in fits all night, waking up in screams with Edward there to comfort her and remind her that she was safe. She was sure she looked like a freak to the rest of them, but the anger had bonded Bella and Edward. Seeing her didn't make him pity her, it made him hate THEM. Edward had to feel what she felt for them too, didn't he? Just after 9:00 am, there was a light knock at the door.

"Bella, are you awake?" Alice sounded wary as she creaked the door open just slightly and then her face registered surprise when she found Edward holding Bella's hand as she slept quietly. He gently put her hand down and motioned Alice out to the hallway.

"She's barely slept all night, please don't wake her now." Edward whispered.

"I won't, I just needed some things from my room so I was hoping she was already awa-"

"Edward?" Came Bella's cry and both rushed back into the room at vampire speed. Bella would never get used to the now-their-gone-now-their-not speed with which they could move. Suddenly he was there again, taking her hand as if he had never left.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I was asking Alice not to disturb you." Bella looked horrified.

"This is Alice's room! She can disturb me all she wants to!" Bella then turned to Alice. Mechanically she smiled. "Morning, Alice." She said with forced enthusiasm. It was obvious that Bella had to try very hard to hold herself together and just interact naturally, but neither said anything as Alice reached down gingerly to hug her best friend.

"Good morning, Bella. Do you feel up to breakfast? You must be famished, especially since dinner didn't, er, agree with you. Would you like me to bring you something? Emmett stocked the kitchen so I can make you pretty much anything you want!" Bella looked down with trepidation and patted her stomach.

"Thanks, Alice, but I don't think I'm up for anything just yet. Edward made sure I drank water every time I woke last night, so I don't think shock will be an issue." Bella added to appease her worried friend.

"Bella, can we talk for a few minutes?"

"Of course. Thanks for babysitting me all night Edward. I hope it wasn't too boring."

"Of course not, Bella. And I will do the same tonight if you'd like." And Edward turned and left the girls alone to talk.

"Bella, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"For what, Alice?" Bella looked puzzled.

"For leaving you by the doors to go dance with Rosalie. For not hearing something. For not figuring out where you were sooner. For not having a vision of what happened before it happened. For everything."

"Alice, it wasn't your fault! It was those pricks' faults who grabbed me and-and hurt me. Only them. Please don't blame yourself. You can't control your visions, the music and the party were so loud and there were so many smells, you couldn't have heard or smelled anything from the dance floor with all of that 'noise' to contend with!" Bella exclaimed, shocked that her friend was feeling guilty and responsible and a little resentful that she was being forced to comfort someone else when she felt so horrible herself.

"That's what Rose said, but I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for the rape—"

"Don't! Don't say that word. Not ever again. Carlisle fixed me up, I'm fine. I don't ever want to hear that word again! Is that understood?" Bella was yelling now as she was backing away from Alice, for the benefit of whomever was still in the house as much as Alice, who looked stunned and hurt-again.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to say….I'm just sorry." Alice stumbled over her words.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I just want to forget. Put it all behind me and move on."

"I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to say anything wrong. I'm really sorry." Bella hugged her.

"You didn't say anything wrong, Alice. I'm wrong. I'm all wrong and I don't know how to put the pieces back together. I feel like I was normal and now I'm stuck in one of those twisted Picasso paintings and I don't know how to make the wild pieces go together again. I shouldn't have snapped at you. You've all been wonderful." Just then, there was a knock at the door. Esme poked her head in just slightly.

"You girls OK?" They both nodded, breaking out of their hug. Bella had no idea why hugging her best friend made her skin crawl, but it did.

"Bella, I took the liberty of going to see Charlie this morning—"

"What? NO! You told me you wouldn't tell anyone—"

"Bella, please calm down, I wasn't betraying your trust, I was helping you hide your secret, against my better judgment as a mother, but to keep my promise I didn't want Charlie getting suspicious and if you go home today, or even in the next few days, he is going to see the evidence that something happened and you will be forced to tell him and I believe that should be your decision so I was HELPING you, so let me continue, ok?" Bella nodded mutely and made a mental note to find a mirror as soon as she could.

"I was setting it up so that you could stay with us for a while longer. With Spring Break starting on Monday, I was able to convince Charlie that I wanted to surprise all 3 of you girls with a trip to our California beach house for some sun and sand and that I wanted to pack some things for you to add your bags to ours as part of the surprise when you woke up. He seemed skeptical at first and there was a caveat to his agreement to your coming along with us, but I was able to get some of your comfy things from home, and throw in with a few other things to make Charlie believe you were really at the beach if he looked for them. He wanted to know why I hadn't asked him sooner and I told him that Carlisle wasn't sure he could get the time off from work until late last night, which was true. He called in several favors so that he would be missing from the hospital to keep the ruse going, and so you are free to stay with us the entire week and through next weekend. That should give those bruises and cuts some time to heal. At least enough time to get the stitches out so you can comb your hair so the cut on your forehead will be hidden easily enough and the bruises should be yellowed enough that Rosalie can help you cover them up with some of her amazing stash of makeup. She mixes her own, you know? Hmmpphh—" Bella threw her arms around Esme.

"I love you, Esme!" She felt like crying, but thought it strange that no tears came. Then thought it even stranger yet that no tears had come at all. Maybe she really was getting past this mess and moving on, she thought.

"I love you, too, Bella, dear. The same as I do my own. I will help you do whatever you need to do In order to heal from all of this." She stroked Bella's hair as Bella tried not to cringe away. She couldn't figure out what her problem was. She loved these people, why did their touch freak her out like this? The hug broke away and Bella looked down, chewing her lip.

"I know that look, Bella. What are you thinking? What is it you want to ask for?" Alice jumped in. Bella had a difficult time asking for anything, small or big, and this was pretty big.

"Well….I was wondering…."

"Spit it out, already!" Alice giggled. "You could ask for the moon right now and even Edward would work on getting it for you!"

"Since Carlisle doesn't have to work and I hate to lie to Charlie, do you think there is any way we could go to California for some sun and heat and get out of the oppressive rain? And…well…I wouldn't be so scared away from here." The last line she whispered.

"Of course! We have a villa in Southern California that is on a private beach and is so secluded, it is almost its own island. No one goes there except the cleaning crew and we don't have to hide there!" Alice nearly shrieked her excitement.

"Yes, Bella." Esme agreed. "That might be just what the doctor orders. Carlisle is coming up to take a look at your stitches and change your dressings soon. I will ask him what he thinks and get back to you, ok?"

"Wait—he doesn't have to-again, does he?" Bella asked as she self-consciously pulled the covers up to her chin.

"No, Bella. Not unless there is a problem. Those internal stitches will dissolve in time but promise me that if you the pain gets worse or you feel any different, you will tell me, ok? Carlisle did what he could but he isn't a gynecologist. He is worried that he wasn't thorough enough and is begging me to convince you to go to a doctor, but I know that at this point that isn't going to happen so I'm not even going to ask. I guess a man can never understand but even though I've never been through what you and Rosalie have been through, I understand why you feel the way you do and I won't push you. But remember, if there are any changes, you HAVE to tell me. An infection could make you unable to have children or even kill you fairly quickly if it isn't treated. OK?"

"OK." Bella said as she looked down at her lap, where the blankets had landed.

"I will go talk to Carlisle now. Alice, when you are done here, why don't you round up the others. I think Emmett and Rose are hunting and Jasper has been keeping his distance even though we've tried to tell him that he is in no danger of losing control now, he just won't take the chance."

"I know where to find him." Alice said sadly as Esme got up to leave the room. As she opened the door, she nearly tripped over Edward who was carrying a breakfast tray.

"Ah, breakfast for our patient!" Alice exclaimed. "I will leave you in capable hands, then, while I go talk to everyone. You can talk to Edward." And she bounced out of the room. With the way Alice moved it was either bouncing or gliding. She never walked or ran.

"I thought you might be hungry and I'm a little more creative than Emmett, but don't tell him that. He was so proud of himself last night for being able to help that he was talking about it again this morning." Edward said as he set the tray on the table beside the bed.

"Poor Emmett, and then I upchucked everything." Bella hid her face in her hands with shame. Edward reached up and gently removed them. She noticed that his touch didn't make her want to cringe away and found that very odd, indeed.

"Don't worry about it. He was just worried about you and was glad that he could do something. Alice and Rosalie brought you home and helped while Carlisle and Esme fixed you up. You wanted me to stay with you to protect you so Emmett felt left out. He is still proud that he made you food and you ate some of it. I don't think he has connected the fact that your throwing up meant tossing up what he had just made for you. He just feels really badly and really helpless, like the rest of us, but Jasper is tormented over not being able to do anything at all because he fears himself and is terrified he will scare you and make things worse." Edward's brow furrowed a little on the last sentence. Part with worry and part with disgust.

"I know Jasper wouldn't hurt me and there are no open, bloody cuts, so I will make a point of going down to see Jasper later and let him know that he is safe." Bella responded automatically as she stared at the mounded plate in front of her.

"That's Bella, always worried about everyone else! You can do whatever you are comfortable with, but for now, dig in to the eggs benedict with bacon. I remembered that you hate ham but love bacon and tomato, so I used a recipe I saw on the Food Network Channel once and, voila!" Edward brandished a napkin with flare. Bella giggled.

"You don't eat, why on Earth do you watch the Food Network?"

"When you don't sleep, have a lot of time on your hands, and aren't paired up with someone like everyone else in the house, you have a lot of spare time for useless things." Edward said and Bella blushed a little as he grinned.

"OK, Bella. Stop stalling, it's time to eat!" Bella managed a few bites, which tasted scrumptious, and she told Edward so, but her stomach felt like it had been turned to stone and filled with sand. She just couldn't eat much. She hated to waste his wonderful creation but ¼ of the way in, she declared herself done and Edward sighed.

"I hope you aren't too upset with me." She said with trepidation.

"Upset WITH you? No! Upset FOR you! You don't need to lose any more weight and eating will help the body heal faster so I'm worried about you is all. Will you at least keep the orange juice to drink?" Edward pleaded.

"Yes, Mom." Bella said with a grin to lighten his mood as he picked up the tray. "You don't have to go!" She exclaimed.

"I hear Carlisle and Esme coming, I'm assuming they want to redress your wounds so I will give you privacy while I think up what I will make for you for lunch and then I will return when they are finished with their work. If that's ok with you?" He sputtered a little at the end. To go from not really noticing each other's presence very often to suddenly Bella wanting him around was confusing to say the least. For both of them.

"That would be perfect. Thank you, Edward." He just nodded as the door opened, his parents entered and he left, closing the door behind him.

"Good morning, Bella!" Carlisle said in his doctor voice. "How is my patient today?"

"Fine, I guess." Bella shrugged and looked back down at her lap.

"Let's take a look at that head. You took a nasty knock there, but I don't think you have a concussion or anything. Your pupils are normal and dilating normally, so that's a good sign. It looks like we were able to keep you from going into shock, for which Emmett is taking full credit since you ate his pancakes, of course." Carlisle smiled.

"OK, new water proof bandage there, now I'm going to have to take a look at your legs and make sure they are healing. I can see you are starting to panic, but please, Bella, it's ok. Your shirt is long enough to cover you and it will only take a few moments. I will be quick and it won't hurt. It might itch a little when I put the ointment on, but then these plastic bandages go on like a second skin and will cover the cuts and burns so nothing can get in and you can heal properly, ok?"

"Shaking and gripping the covers, Bella nodded. She stood slowly but then didn't move. It was Esme who went to her side.

"I know, Bella, this is terribly painful for you, but Carlisle needs to make sure you are healing. There is no need to feel shame or embarrassment. Not in this house. No one here blames you.

"I do." Bella whispered as she put her thumbs in the waistband of Rosalie's pants and started slowly pulling them down. No one said anything, but Esme made a mental note to address the self-blame later. When she finally had them off, she laid down and Carlisle made his way to the bed. Bella reached wildly for Esme's hand as he parted her legs just a little and began removing the bandages. Bella nearly came off the bed, but she made herself stay as still as possible, though she was shaking all over so badly that her teeth were chattering.

"Squeeze my hand, Bella, it will all be over soon, I promise." Esme cooed over and over again, trying to calm Bella's shaking. Finally, Carlisle finished with the last bandage and covered her with the blankets.

"All done!" He exclaimed as he would for any patient. But she wasn't any patient. She was Bella and this was ripping his heart out.

"Now, about your request to go to California…I think that is a wonderful idea! We could all use some quiet time out of the rain and Rosalie and Alice would kill to do some nighttime shopping on Rodeo Drive. The only problem is how to get there. Flying commercially is out, it would be too hard for you, but I think we can charter a plane to get us close enough to the island and we will get a couple of rental cars from there. What do you think, Bella? Ever fly in a chartered jet before?" Carlisle was trying to distract her from what had just happened and it was working. She had loosened her grip on Esme's hand and the shaking was less severe.

"Charter a plane? I can't ask you to spend that kind of money, Carlisle!"

"Nonsense!" Carlisle replied with a look of dismissal on his face. "We have it to spend, so let's spend it and go in style."

"Thank you." Was all Bella could manage as Carlisle started packing up his medical equipment and leaving the room. She hadn't noticed that Esme had brought up her old Army Surplus duffel bag when Carlisle had walked in with the medical bag. Suddenly she realized it was on the floor beside her and she looked at it strangely.

"What is it, Bella? Do you want to see what I brought for you? See if everything is ok? We may have to buy you a few things for warmer weather because I don't think I packed enough for a week in the sun, but that's no problem. I will just send Alice out. She will love having a shopping errand. And I will make her behave and get all comfortable fabrics and outfits, I promise." Esme smiled, confused by Bella's lack of reaction.

"No, it's just that I thought having my own things would be comforting, but it isn't. I don't feel like that Bella anymore. I feel like someone else. I feel like I've shed my old skin and I have a new one and those clothes are part of the old one…I don't know. I don't make any sense." Esme hugged her, and again Bella struggled not to cringe away.

"No, it makes sense. Would you like me to send Alice out for some new clothes?"

"No, no, that's ok. It was just a strange feeling I had. No need to waste perfectly good clothing. Do you mind if I take a shower, now?"

"Of course not, you don't have to ask, this room and Alice's bathroom are yours until we leave and there are four private suites in our beach house so you won't even have to go out into the hallway to get to the facilities. I am sorry about that. It isn't something we have to worry about, the bathrooms were built for show, so it just didn't occur to us. We've been around for a long time. Ensuite bathrooms just aren't something that came naturally to us when we built this place." Esme looked apologetic.

"Don't worry about it, I have to face the world someday, don't I? It may as well be on the way to the bathroom!" Bella smiled, which Esme returned, then turned to leave Bella alone to hit the shower.

Bella pulled the duffle bag onto the bed with some effort. Her arms were sore, her abdomen muscles, everything ached when she sat still and screamed when she moved. She was afraid to see what she looked like under the t-shirt and afraid to look down at her uncovered legs. She rifled through the duffle bag and realized that Esme had done a wonderful job of packing for her. Old t-shirts and leggings, jogging pants, and hoodies were interspersed with her bathing suit, shorts and tank tops. She pulled out one of her favorite old concert shirts, a black hoodie and a pair of leggings, underthings, and one of the pads Esme had discreetly placed in the side pocket and bundled it all up.

She slowly reached for the bundle, muscles still screaming, and made her way to the door. She could hear a flurry of activity. Great everyone was getting ready for the trip she realized. When she turned the doorknob, however, she heard everything stop.

There, in the hallway in front of the bathroom door was Emmett, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He was desperately looking side-to-side to find somewhere to be that wasn't in Bella's path. The rest had managed to dash into rooms or otherwise hide themselves when the doorknob had turned, but poor Emmett was just stuck there with an armload of clothing, heading toward his bedroom.

"Hey, Em. I thought guys packed light?" Bella asked to gently ease his discomfort.

"Yeah, well, I'm not most guys. Gotta be prepared for everything, right? Thanks for talking Esme and Carlisle into taking us all to California for Spring Break. We haven't been down to the beach house in forever and some sun and warm water will be a nice change of pace!"

"No problem, Emmett, glad I could help you out." And she gently punched his shoulder as she walked into the bathroom. She heard him start whistling as he continued past Alice's room to his own.

'I can pretend to be the same old Bella', she thought. 'I have to. For everyone's sake'. Then she caught a glance of herself in the mirror and what she saw made a strangled sound come from her throat. Immediately, there was someone at the door.

"Bella? Are you alright? Let me in, or would you rather I get Alice or Esme?" It was Edward. She had no idea where he had come from or how he had heard her small cry, but he was there. She slowly opened the door.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I…just…well…I just got a look at myself in the mirror. I had no idea how badly I looked. Why didn't anyone tell me?" Edward slowly took her hand in his, looked to her for any signs that she was uncomfortable, then slowly pulled her into a hug.

"You are still the same, beautiful Bella. Those bruises and cuts will heal in no time and you will look just the same as you did yesterday before the dance, but you are still the same beautiful Bella." He was rocking her in the doorway of the bathroom while the rest all listened from their open bedroom doors as they had stopped packing to make sure she was OK.

"I'm OK now. I'm sorry I scared everyone." She said after a couple of moments of silent rocking. She pulled away from him and looked up. "Really, I'm sorry. You don't have to worry so much, I won't break, I promise!" And she smiled weakly at him as she tried to sound jovial, but failed.

"I wanted to ask a favor of you, though. Would you mind If I borrowed a couple of your long-sleeved t-shirts for the trip? Maybe a sweatshirt? I just want something loose and baggy and yours seemed so comfortable last night but if you don't have enough or whatever…"

"Shhhhh, Bella, it's fine. I will get them and put them on Alice's bed for you to pack when you get out of the shower, ok?" He smiled at her nervousness and she blushed.

"Thanks, Edward. For everything."

"You're welcome. Now go get ready or you will have three very pissed off vampires in a few minutes who are dying to get to the beach! The charter plane leaves in two hours so we can't be late!" She looked stricken as she backed into the bathroom and closed the door on Edward.

Bella slowly began to peel her clothing off, careful not to look into the mirror until she was completely naked, then she turned toward the huge mirror and took in everything that was now a part of her, whether it healed on the outside or not. There were bruises up and down her arms, her legs. The stitches showing through the plastic second-skin things Carlisle had used looked gnarled and black. The burns looked scabbed over and raised, like they were screaming something at her. What she could see of her back looked horrible. It was nothing but a giant bruise and a series of dozens of scratches from the rocks. 20 deep enough that they must have bled quite a lot. The worst was her face. Despite the bloody nose, she had two perfect black eyes and both cheeks were growing a deep purple. Her neck had finger marks bruised around it, thumb prints in front so that they moved when she swallowed. She looked like something out of a crime scene television show.

Then she had to remind herself that she was a walking crime scene.

Edward paced back and forth at the top of the stairs, listening to the water run. Everyone else was packed and ready downstairs. He had taken the liberty of placing 4 of the shirts Bella had asked for and a hooded sweatshirt in with her things and taken them downstairs. Alice and Rosalie had gone out for what they called "toiletries", and placed those in the bag and her things were waiting downstairs with everyone else's. Now if she would just finish showering.

"It's OK, Edward. It takes a lot of showers to wash away what happened to her last night." Esme said quietly from behind him.

"Is she going to be alright, Esme? Will she ever be the old Bella again?"

"The old Bella? Maybe not completely. But something close. It will just take some time." She placed her hand on his shoulder and called down to Rosalie to join them.

"Rose, can you talk to her? We need to get on the road and I want to make sure she feels 'clean' but there is a deadline. " Esme asked cautiously.

"Of course. Anything to help." Rosalie said and went to knock on the bathroom door as she opened it just a little.

"Bella!" She yelled over the sound of running water. "Bella! We have to go in about 15 minutes, would you like me to help you do your hair quickly so we can get on the road.

"I'm sorry." Bella yelled back. Give me just a second!" Just like Bella. 'I'm sorry' was the prelude to just about anything else she said. Rosalie had to roll her eyes a little. It took about 3 minutes and Bella opened the door dressed as if she were going to a skate boarder convention rather than California, her hair wrapped in a towel and her black ensemble strikingly obvious against the bright summer colors the rest of the group wore in anticipation of the warmer weather. She looked like Wednesday Addams for God's sake!

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be in the shower so long. It just…er…felt good on the sore muscles." Rosalie looked at Bella and gave her an impromptu hug that made Bella stiffen uncontrollably.

"No matter how much you wash, you will never be able to wash them away. I know, I tried." Rosalie looked at Bella as if she wanted to cry and then hurried her back into the bathroom.

"How about a simple braid? I can make it go to one side and cover the cut on your forehead. If we see people, you can pull the hood up on your jacket and cover most of the throat bruises. Does that sound OK to you?" Bella just nodded as Rosalie's adept and lightening fast fingers went to work on her hair. When she was finished, Bella was surprised at how much more normal she looked.

"Wait here," Rosalie said as she ran to her room for her makeup kit which was the size of most people's suitcases. When she returned, she artfully covered the split lip until it was barely noticeable and did what she could with the black eyes but ran back again and returned with a large pair of sunglasses. "What makeup won't fix, sunglasses can hide!" She exclaimed triumphantly.

Bella looked at herself in the mirror. She looked almost normal….almost.

The two descended the stairs hand-in-hand. Alice and Esme were waiting for them at the bottom and the guys were going in and out, loading two cars. Alice hugged Bella gingerly.

"I can't WAIT to show you the beach house! Alice laughed as she bounced up and down on her toes, never still.

Bella could tell they had all had a talk about trying to show Bella a good time and that was not what she was after. She just wanted to relax alone and think. But she would never hurt their feelings on purpose, so she would do what she had to in order to find some stolen moments in the heat and the sun where she did her best thinking. God, she was missing Arizona right now.

"All loaded up! " Emmett exclaimed. "Babe, you and I are riding with Jasper and Alice. Dad wanted Bella in his car and since that just leaves Edward, well he goes with them too!"

"Fine, but Alice DOESN'T do the driving, Jasper does!" Rosalie yelled loudly as she walked out the door to climb into the back seat of the car and Alice pretended to look offended as she climbed into the passenger seat in front of her.

"Jazz wanted to drive, anyway!" Alice retorted.

'Look at them', Bella thought, 'just going on as if the world hasn't been ripped in half. But, then again, they weren't nearly ripped in half. They can pretend to get it all they want, but they don't. Even Rosalie, who felt the pain and humiliation the same as I did had been able to go back as a vampire and get revenge on the men who had hurt her.' Bella didn't feel strong, she felt incredibly weak. And she didn't feel like Bella anymore.

"Bella, dear, this way." Carlisle said as he gently grabbed her elbow and she yelped and jumped back as if he had hit her.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle, I didn't mean to. I mean—I didn't—I just—"

"It's OK, Bella. I understand. I knew you were lost in your own world somewhere, I shouldn't have touched you. It was my mistake. How about we get into the cars now before we miss our plane, what do you say?" And Carlisle smiled at her warmly. She tried to smile back and just nodded. Once in the car, Esme turned to Bella.

"Oh, Bella, I nearly forgot. The only way Charlie would let you come was if you would call him before we left town. I'm sorry, I tried to get you out of it but Charlie isn't a stupid man and it really would have set his radar going if I had pushed any further to interfere in communication between you two. I'm sure you would rather not, but I'm afraid you must for just a few moments. Charlie is a man of few words after all." Esme said and smiled at her, both with trepidation and with that same pity.

Bella felt her belly grow hot with anger at the pity, which surprised her. The anger was getting worse. She had to force herself to control it. It wasn't the Cullen's fault that she had been attacked. They were only trying to help her so she kept telling herself that she needed to get her shit together ASAP before she hurt more than just Alice's feelings.

"OK, Esme. I will call him now. " She reached into her bag for her cell phone and realized it wasn't there. Then it dawned on her. The monsters had taken her small handbag with the few essentials a girl needs at a dance. One of those a telephone for emergencies. A lot of good that had done her, she thought.

"Esme?" Bella nearly whispered, "They took my purse last night with my cell phone in it, the one Charlie got me just a couple of months ago, could I borrow yours?"

"Of course, dear." Esme fished in her purse for her phone and handed it to Bella as she heard Bella whisper "Charlie is going to kill me."

"Thank you, Esme. You guys have done so much for me."

"It's nothing I wouldn't do for my own children. You and Alice are practically sisters and you have become a member of our family. Any of us would do anything for you, Bella. I hope you know that." Esme said, and Carlisle nodded in agreement. Bella smiled back , this time a genuinely warm smile.

Bella flipped open the phone and dialed Charlie's number but couldn't bring herself to push send. Edward sensed her hesitation, looked at her with his eyebrows raised questioningly, and offered her his hand. She breathed a sigh of relief and took it gratefully, squeezing so hard that it nearly hurt her, though she knew that he would barely feel a thing. She hit send and Charlie picked up on the second ring, sounding gruff.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dad, it's me."

"Bells? What are you doing using Esme's phone? Where is yours?"

"I couldn't find it in my bag, we were in such a hurry and everything, I'm not sure where it got packed…"

"You should always keep that phone with you, that's why I bought you that ridiculously expensive thing! So that I could reach you anytime night or day. I've been getting some strange texts coming from that phone today, is there a way for cell phone wires to get crossed? If you didn't send them, then who is?" Bella nearly started hyperventilating and Edward moved closer, Esme turned, concerned, and Carlisle's brow was furrowed in the mirror. Of course, they could hear the other side of the conversation just as clearly as if they were holding the phone. Hell, Bella figured the group in the car ahead of them could probably hear it!

"Hello? Bella? Are you there?

"Dad, don't be too upset, but I think my phone was stolen last night. I wasn't sure until you told me about the weird texts, but now I know that must be why I can't find it." Bella's voice was shaking. She hoped Charlie would just chalk it up to fear of being grounded or something for being irresponsible.

"I don't like the idea of you being so far away without your telephone, but I guess I can reach you with one of the Cullen's phones, if they don't mind."

"No, they won't mind, but I will be with the Cullens. One is even a doctor, so how much trouble could I get into on a beach? Wait, don't answer that…" Charlie chuckled as Bella tried not to throw up.

"Dad, call the phone company and have that phone disconnected and deactivated so they can't contact you anymore. What did the texts say, Dad?"

"Nothing I can repeat to my 16 year old daughter!"

"Please, as soon as we hang up, you do that, ok? I can't because I'm a minor on the account. We have insurance on the phone. I will pay the $50 deductible and get a replacement as soon as I get back, oK?"

"It's ok, Bella. Don't sound so upset. These things happen. I'm not angry, ok? Your voice is so shaky."

"I just feel stupid for losing the phone you worked hard to pay for. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I will call immediately, just like you said, delete the filthy messages, and we will take care of it as soon as you get back. Maybe you need this vacation more than I realized."

"You have no idea, Dad."

"OK, then, have fun and all that. Bye, Bells."

"Dad? I love you. Bye." Bella hung up the phone too quickly for him to react.

Still on the verge of hyperventilating, Carlisle urged Bella to stop and put her head between her knees and try to take deep breaths. Edward didn't know what else to do, so he rubbed her back. Slowly, she began to calm down, her breathing began to steady, and her body stopped shaking. She brought her back up, feeling a little better, until a thought occurred to her. If they were texting her father, were they texting other people on her contacts list. The list was short, but she would be humiliated.

"Oh God, what if they have texted other people!" Bella was mortified.

"No problem. I will put Alice on it. She can call your friends and explain that your cell phone was stolen and that they may be getting some strange texts or calls until Charlie can have it deactivated." Edward said, reassuringly, then grabbed his own phone to call his sister in the other car and ask her to do just that.

"See? All taken care of." Now try to relax and enjoy your first trip on a chartered plane. This one is first-class luxury. Carlisle even made sure we will be able to get through security quicker and into a lounge where you won't be bothered." Bella knew that Edward meant where fewer people would stare at the grunge queen with the bruises among the group of vacationers, but she was grateful.

In no time, they were at the airport, whisked through security, and in a dark corner of a dark lounge. Bella jumped at every noise, recoiled every time someone tried to address her and ask if she needed anything and Esme had to answer that her daughter wasn't feeling well and water would be just fine.

Every man that looked her direction was one of them in Bella's mind. Every hand that accidentally touched hers was their touch. Every shoulder that brushed hers was their tackle and every aftershave that assaulted her nostrils was their sickening smell. She suddenly lurched up from the table and raced to the bathroom. Alice was right behind her.

She wretched into the toilet and all that came up was water, but she couldn't stop. For five minutes, her stomach was out of her control and she felt sore and worn out when she was finished. Alice was dutifully holding up her braid, saying soothing things and telling her that it was going to be OK. But it was never going to be OK and Bella was getting so angry she was afraid she would slug her friend which would only succeed in hurting Bella's hand and Alice's feelings so she kept her hands tightly fisted at her side until she collected herself enough to join the others.

They were all waiting for her with those awful looks of pity. She sought out Edward's face. Good, no pity. Only anger. She felt as if he understood better than the others because he was pissed off and so was she. The pity was killing her.

"Time to board!" Carlisle announced happily. As if Bella hadn't just made a huge spectacle of herself for no apparent reason. She wondered what they had talked about while she was gone. If Alice was whispering to Jasper or Esme now about how she had tossed her cookies…or in this case, her fancy water.

When they boarded the plane, everything was more beautiful than Bella could have imagined. It had ivory leather seats, plush tan carpet, and large windows with shades that opened and closed with the push of a button. There was a sink and a refrigerator stocked with soft drinks, which she assumed had been prepared for her, with some small, light snacks as well, mainly cheeses and fruits, crackers on the counter that looked like they came from a foreign country, and chocolates. The Cullens all kidded her about her love of chocolate so it didn't surprise her that they had thought of everything.

Bella chose a seat at the back of the eight-seater plane and dropped down, eager to take off and get away from everyone and everything that was Forks, Washington. She realized that the seats were mechanical as well. They had buttons to heat them, cool them, turn them 360 degrees and place you in any number of positions, including reclining all the way back. She was so tired, that realization was a welcome one. Right now, all four seats on the left side of the plane were facing the four seats on the right side and she decided she would wait for the right moment to turn hers away just a little for some privacy, maybe a nap. But now was not the right time as everyone chattered aboard.

"So, what do you think, Bella? Is it to your liking?" Carlisle asked in that way that made him seem the hundreds of years old that he was rather than the 30 years old that he looked.

"Very much, so. I just wish the trip was a little longer." Bella joked as she smiled and sank into the seat. "Does anyone mind if I take a nap?" She asked with trepidation.

"Heavens no!" Esme responded as the others shook their heads. "You didn't sleep much last night, I heard you waking with nightmares several times, and your body needs rest. Why don't you turn your seat to face the window and then close the blinds so you can have some privacy?" Esme said.

'Bless you, Esme', Bella thought as she did just that and Alice handed her a pillow and blanket from one of the overhead bins. Within seconds, Bella was fast asleep. The others had all turned the two front seats in each row to face each other and Emmett and Edward sat on the floor in the aisle as the plane sailed through the sky. They tried hard to whisper so as not to wake her.

"Poor Bella." Alice said. "I can't imagine what she is going through. If only I hadn't left her at the dance."

"Alice, you can't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. She was inside a gym, a safe place. Who knew something like that could happen so close to what is supposed to be a safe haven for children like Bella? I'm worried because she hasn't cried or even uttered the word rape, yet. She just seems to be pretending that nothing happened." Carlisle said to Alice. "Has she said anything to any of you?" They shook their heads in unison.

"Did all of you catch their scent on Bella last night?" Esme asked, as quietly as she could. Everyone nodded except Jasper.

"There were definitely three, Bella was right about that, but I didn't recognize any of them. Did any of you?" Rosalie asked. Everyone shook their head except Edward.

"I know I've smelled one of them before. But I can't remember where. I just remember thinking how much he wreaked. It has really been pissing me off that I can't remember and go rip his head off!"

"Now, Edward, there is no need to do anything violent that will get you arrested. Right now, for whatever reason, Bella responds to you. She needs you right now so you must stay level headed. Perhaps we can talk Bella into going to the authorities when we return. I saved the rape kit. If you can remember the man's identity, we can go from there, but don't do anything rash, son. Remember who you are and who you don't want to become." Carlisle lectured.

"But the things they did to her. I tried not to read your minds, but I couldn't help it. The cuts, the brands, the screaming in pain when you had to examine her…Bella didn't deserve that. No woman does." Edward spat out.

"Holy shit, they branded her? Where?"

"Uh, guys?" Rosalie interrupted and pointed to the back of the plane where Bella was sitting straight up, twisted in her seat, and staring at them in shock.

"I'm not an animal. You can talk with me instead of about me," she said angrily. She was literally seething with anger and disgust. "Do you want to know where he branded me, Emmett? Fine!" With that, she stood and dropped her pants, the hoodie covering to the tops of her thighs. "There. Are you happy?" She asked as she yanked them back up. "The first one gave me the cuts because he said that I was a dirty whore and he wanted to make me ugly so no man would want to touch me again. Then when he found out I was a virgin, the other two held me down when he was finished raping me and he took out a lighter and held it to his ring then stuck it to my skin so hard that it bruised underneath the burns. He did this six times on each side. He told me that meant that he owned me and after he and his friends were through with me, no man would ever touch me again because I would be marked forever. Is that what you want to hear? Is it?" Bella was screaming, not in control of herself.

She found the nearest thing she could and through it. A bottle of fancy water smashed against the back wall. The next thing she found was a box of cigars that she threw against the side of the plane with such force, some of the cigars actually splintered with the box. Third, she grabbed a laptop and pitched it to the floor, pieces flying everywhere.

It was Edward who reached her as the others stood stunned. He grabbed her arms as she reached for a vase and knew that if she cut herself in the sky, there would be little hope of keeping Jasper away. And maybe, deep down, that's what Bella wanted. But he wasn't going to give it to her.

"No, Bella, calm down. It's ok. Everything is going to be OK. It has only been one day and you are doing so well. So much better than we expected, you can get through this. You've had to take care of your mother, of Charlie, now it's time for you to let us take care of you, ok? Just let us take care of you!" Edward finished as he started making hushing noises and Bella started sobbing. He was rocking her back and forth in his arms, gently holding her as one holds a baby as she buried her face in his shirt and cried as if her heart were broken. And perhaps it was.

Esme busied herself cleaning up the water and glass, Emmett the computer, and Jasper the cigars. Carlisle went to talk to the pilot about settling up the bill so that they could get out quickly and Edward picked Bella up and carried her over to a seat where he held her in his arms until she cried herself to sleep.

It was scarcely two hours later when the captain announced their decent into Burbank's airport. Carlisle thought the smaller airport would be less of a trauma for Bella and easier to get into and out of relatively unseen. Though they had no fancy lounges, they would be able to get through the elite line and get out quickly to a waiting limousine that would take them to their secluded beach house on the coast. It would be quite a ride, but they would all be comfortable.

"Bella, honey, it's time to wake up. We are getting ready to land." Edward quietly said in her ear. She stirred and opened her eyes, confused about where she was and then embarrassed to find herself in Edward's lap. She quickly slid to the seat next to him, her face so red it was nearly purple, and started her apologies before being cut off by Alice.

"Please don't say you are sorry, Bella! What we saw there was more of a normal reaction than we've seen yet. It's about time you got pissed off and threw some things. Although a $2000 computer wasn't exactly a cheap choice. At least we kept you from the $3000 vase you were reaching for when Edward tackled you. Carlisle and the captain are still haggling over the cost of the Cuban cigars, but let's just say one of us may not be going to college this time around." Alice grinned and looked at her best friend with sympathy and a little mischief to lighten her mood. Bella's red face only deepened in color as she hid behind her hands.

"Please, just tell me that I didn't really drop my pants."

"Dude, you totally did!" Emmett chimed in and everyone laughed just a little, afraid of offending Bella.

"Dude," Bella mocked him "you're never going to let me live that down are you?"

"Nope, kid sister, you bet your ass that one will come up again and I have to say that you throw bigger tantrums than Rosalie. If you had her strength, we would have been in some serious trouble back there! A vampire can survive a lot of things, but I don't know about falling from the sky because a laptop goes through the floor!" Rosalie slapped his shoulder angrily.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry about the money. I have a little in my college fund and I can get a job to pay off the rest—"

"Nonsense, Bella, what are families for?"

"Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts as we prepare for our descent into Burbank International Airport. It is a balmy 86 degrees and sunny with a slight breeze from the west. Enjoy your stay in sunny Los Angeles!" The captain's voice crackled over the loud speaker.

Everyone did as they were told, the messes cleaned up and the cabin looking spotless, again, and they waited for the landing. Bella replaced her sunglasses and pulled up her hoodie, careful to pull her braid out to the side to hide at least the marks on one side of her neck.

Soon, they were in the limo, taking in the sights and trying to cheer Bella up.

"Look, Bella, Mann's Chinese Theater! Maybe one night we could go see a movie there. And Rodeo Drive! We have to do the Beverly Hills shopping. It sucks to have to wait until sundown because that gives us so few hours before the stores close, but we can do what damage is possible on the credit cards!" Bella just nodded and smiled politely, her glasses and hood still in place in case the driver rolled down the window.

A few people had looked at her a little strangely coming off of the airplane dressed all in black, long sleeves, a hood, and big sunglasses while everyone else was wearing sundresses, shorts, and sandals. She couldn't dream of showing her skin, though. She even walked around with her hands in her pockets.

Finally, they entered a dark area. Bella instinctively scooted closer to Edward without even realizing she was doing it, and took his hand. The others noticed, though, as did he. It was strange how she had latched onto him. One would think she would be finding comfort in Alice, Esme, or even Rosalie. But Edward? They had just never clicked before. Maybe that was why. Maybe she needed someone who didn't know her that well to help her feel safe. In any case, he would do whatever he could to help her in any way she needed.

The area became more and more isolated as they drove into the hills, then to the rockier cliffs behind. Finally, they drove up to the beautiful beach house that seemed to be cut out of the cliff with the sandy beach just below it. It was breathtaking and, like a little girl with her nose pressed to the candy store window, Bella had her face pressed against the glass, stretched over Edward, to see the amazing mansion they referred to as a beach house. It was built on a bit of a hill, sandwiched between two sides of a cliff but with plenty of ground space between the house and the cliff for the amazing patio that wrapped around the back and one side of the house. There were ornate metal chairs with overstuffed white cushions and the light from inside the house made everything glow as it bounced off of the stone walls of the cliff. The sand itself was a beautiful shade of taupe, seemingly untouched by human or weather, and Bella was in awe.

"I see you approve.' Carlisle chuckled.

"Yes, I definitely approve!" Bella whispered, still in such awe that she didn't want to spoil the moment.

Entering the home was even more spectacular. Without thinking about it and before the driver had gone, Bella had removed her sunglasses and shed the hood of her sweatshirt and stood just circling the huge foyer. It was dark outside now and every light in the house was on. She'd heard Carlisle call ahead to ask the cleaning staff to have the house ready and lit up upon their arrival and now she knew why. He wanted her to get the total effect and for just a moment, she forgot herself and what had happened as she stared at the light but rich colors and the gorgeous Italian tile work throughout the bottom floor.

She could just make out a baby grand piano in one of the rooms with a huge fireplace and the largest screen tv she had ever seen across the foyer in another. There were sofas and chairs of what looked like the softest, fluffiest material ever all over the place and a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. The stairway was massive and the upstairs rooms were all situated in a square around the giant entryway. She could see 4 open doors and just make out bits and pieces of huge, four poster beds in massive suites. She started toward the dining room, glee in her heart and forgetting her wounds and what had happened for a brief moment before she tuned into the conversation between the driver and Carlisle.

"That one doesn't look so good. It looks like someone beat her up. Is she ok?" The driver asked as he sat down the first load of bags.

"She is fine, just an accident—"

"I wrapped Daddy's car around a pole and now I'm grounded for the whole summer. Thanks for reminding me!" Bella said loudly and then stomped upstairs to the first room she could find and slammed the door. She had no idea whose room she was entering but judging by all of the frilly white and the big screen television, it was likely Rosalie and Emmett's. She could just make out Carlisle saying "Teenagers, what can you do?" as he tipped the driver and he left.

As Bella came out of the room, red-faced from embarrassment, it was too applause. Jasper spoke first, which shocked Bella because he had yet to speak to her since she had shown up on his doorstep, bloody and broken, and seeing as how she had just dropped her pants in front of the Southern gentleman, she didn't think he would ever speak to her again.

"I do believe that was a perfect performance, ma'am. An Oscar may be in your future!" She blushed even deeper and laughed as they all bowed to her and she bowed back. It was a small laugh, but it was a start. Edward picked up her ratty Army surplus bag and was next to her in the blink of an eye.

"Let me show you to your room so you can get settled. Would you like to eat dinner downstairs or upstairs, alone?" He asked as he opened the furthest door from the stairs to the left.

"With the family, I think. They've gone to so much trouble, I don't want to be too much of a recluse." Bella said, though that's exactly what she wanted to be.

"Why don't I bring your dinner up tonight and you can see visitors one or two at a time? You look exhausted. Then, maybe you can consider breakfast or lunch downstairs, ok?"

"You don't think your family will be put-out?"

"Bella, all of this is for you, don't you get it? For you to see, do, feel, and behave however you need. Although I must warn you that some of the glass pieces around the house may not look like much but Carlisle has a thing for irreplaceable antiquities so if you need to break anything, stick to laptops and water bottles only, ok?" And then he grinned at her.

"Ugh, don't remind me." Bella said as she hid her face. Edward smiled and pulled her into an easy hug.

"No worries, Bella. Just stay away from the things in the library!" Bella swatted at him as he deftly avoided her and was at the door before she could blink.

"I will go get your dinner while you unpack. There should be half an empty closet and one empty chest of drawers for you." And then he disappeared. Bella looked around at all of the books lining the shelves and then counted the bedrooms. Only four. She was taking Edward's room. But, then again, vampires don't sleep, so maybe it wasn't a big deal. Then she wondered if he would mind keeping watch over her again tonight. She knew the boogeymen had been left behind in Forks, but she still didn't think she could sleep alone.

She opened the bag and found four of his shirts and his hooded sweatshirt. They may be warm, but they would be comforting to sleep in. Something that didn't belong to Old Bella. Esme had grabbed some capris, which would be OK since they would be alone and the bruises below her knees weren't as bad as the rest, but she still preferred to be covered so was grateful to find jogging pants, leggings, and her favorite pair of comfortable jeans.

Bella was a little embarrassed to find undergarments, but glad at the same time that Esme had thought to pack them. All cotton panties. She remembered Carlisle saying something about them promoting healing, but she didn't remember much about the exam or afterward and she was grateful for that. Esme had thought of everything down to socks and comfortable sports bras. She would have to thank her later, when they had a private moment. Someone had gone shopping for essentials such as a new toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, shower gel, her favorite strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner, and pads since tampons were out of the question and there was still a little residual bleeding.

Just as she had everything right where it needed to go, there was a knock at the door and she ran to answer it, expecting it to be Edward. Instead, she found a strange man there. Bella instantly went into panic mode and her vision went into tunnel vision. She knew that he was saying something, but she couldn't tell what. All she knew was that he was three times her size and she couldn't find a weapon anywhere. She started backing into the room and he followed her in with his hands up, but the blood was rushing so hard into her ears that she couldn't hear him. Finally, she let out a blood curdling scream that brought every Cullen running. It was Carlisle who reached the man first and put his arm around the strange man's shoulder. Bella was in shock, inconsolable, unable to focus or function and had actually wet herself. Esme came over to her, put her hands on Bella's face, and forced her to look her in the eye.

"Bella! Bella! Calm down! It's the housekeeper! He was making sure Edward's room was moved around to his liking, to accommodate you. That's all. Nothing to be afraid of. Bella! Do you hear me?" Finally, after repeating that several times, Bella registered what Esme was saying and realized that all of the Cullens were standing around her, worried as she stood like a stone in a puddle of her own piss.

"God, I'm pathetic. Esme, everyone, I'm SO sorry. I-I-I…and she ran for the bathroom as fast as she could to turn on the water. She couldn't wait to get under the hot water and spray herself off again. Try to wash away the memories, the pain, the ways in which those assholes had screwed her up. All she wanted was her body, her mind, and her heart to be clean again.


	4. Chapter 4: Nightmares

Chapter 4: Nightmares

"I don't think Bella is holding it together very well." Emmett said from the far corner of the quiet living room.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Said Rosalie, as she punched him in the shoulder.

"What? I just thought that it needed to be said. I mean, she stripped down in front of all of us! Carlisle, did they really brand her? Is that what those awful marks were?"

"Seeing as how she has shown them to you all, I don't believe that it would be breaking any confidence to tell you that yes, he branded her with a ring. It looked like an old class ring, but the swelling and the seeping were still too fresh for me to get a good look at the symbols there. Once they've formed scars, however, it will be much easier to read what they say."

"There will be scars?" Alice asked quietly. "It's so unfair. She was with us, two kick ass vampires, and still she was pulled out of a back door and savagely beaten and raped. How does that work? Literally right under our noses as we danced and joked around with Jess, Angela, Ben, and Mike, Bella was suffering the worst night of her life and we had no idea!"

"I know, Alice. I feel guilty, too." This came surprisingly from Rosalie who was seated on the floor in front of Emmett. "I even looked back once, saw she wasn't there, and assumed she had gone for something to drink and that was probably right in the middle of it all."

"Girls, you can't blame yourselves, blame the men that did this to her. Blame the deviants that broke our Bella and work hard at putting the pieces back together. Try not to mention it in her presence, we will come together after she has gone to bed in the evenings and discuss any random memories she may have mentioned or anything else that might help us figure out who it was that hurt her. But only after she is sleeping." Esme stressed the last part. She didn't want them caught talking about her again. Obviously that was an anger trigger for Bella and she couldn't handle knowing she was being discussed and wasn't a part of the conversation.

"I'm really worried about her." Carlisle said to the group.

"Me, too." Esme agreed. "She's only cried that once and she just seems a shell of her former self. I suppose that's to be expected, to some extent, but what do we tell Charlie when we take home a broken Bella?"

"We can only hope that while she is here, she will decide to tell Charlie and the authorities herself. There is little else we can do." Carlisle hugged his wife. "I do want everyone to stay relatively close to her. Make sure she is eating and not spending all of her time in the shower. Distract her with movies and walks on the beach. Anything you can. Edward, for some reason, she has taken to trusting you and wanting your company. I admit I'm a bit baffled, but use that trust to help her through this terrible time, ok?"

"Baffled, Hell, I'm downright shocked!" Emmett exclaimed. "These two barely say two words to each other for nearly a year, and suddenly she is begging him to sit by her bed all night and she holds his hand when she gets scared? It's a little creepy!"

"Emmett, she has been through a horrible trauma. There is no way to know why people seek help from some and not others. I would have assumed she would be asking for Alice's help more, or even Esme's or asking advice from Rosalie, but it is Edward she has bonded too, for some reason, and we will respect that. The human psyche is a unique and complicated place." Carlisle chastised.

Just then, they heard Bella's bedroom door click. She slowly exited, wearing one of Edward's shirts and another pair of leggings and started to descend the stairs. It was obvious that each step was painful for her.

"So, are you ready to cart me off to the loony bin, yet?" She tried to joke. There were a few charity chuckles but for the most part, everyone smiled that horrible, pity-filled smile they all seemed to have glued to their faces. Their heads slightly cocked, their mouths pressed together in that hard line with just the edges going up. God, she hated that smile. She wanted to slap it off all their faces, but that would only succeed in breaking her hand, which made her smile, despite herself.

"Of course not, Bella. I will go warm up some of your dinner. It is a light vegetable soup, since you 've had some trouble keeping food down." Esme stood to leave.

"Yeah, sometimes vampire hearing sucks. You can't even spew in private!" Bella said, which brought a little more laughter.

"Sorry about that, Bella. Trick of the trade, I'm afraid." Edward said. "How would you like to watch a movie? We were all discussing what we wanted to see. It's two against two. Emmett and I want something with guns and bombs and Alice and Rose want a chick flick so you get to be the tie breaker!"

"Ugh, I don't know. I think I have to side with the girls this time, guys, sorry." Bella said as she playfully put her hands up in defense against Emmett.

"Fine, chick flick it is. Go ahead, Alice, pick one." Emmett grudgingly agreed. She dug through the DVD's until she came up with one filled with romance and love and all the gushy stuff the guys hated and they groaned, which made Alice even happier as she put it into the DVD player.

Despite the heat, Bella grabbed a blanket off of the couch and covered herself with it. Carlisle made a mental note to check her temperature later. She slid down next to Edward and smiled when Esme handed her a steaming mug of what smelled like delicious vegetable soup. She almost felt normal. Almost. She would have to talk to Carlisle later. She was dreading that. The abdominal pain was getting worse and she feared she needed some antibiotics for the wounds she didn't want him poking around again. But that could come later. Right now, just a movie with the family sounded nice, Bella thought as she sipped her soup and tried not to think about her broken body for a couple of hours.

Dark.

Cigarette smoke.

Beer.

"Dirty Whore"

Pain.

Blood.

Burning.

Cutting.

Tearing.

"Bella! Bella! Wake up, it's just a dream, wake up!" And Bella woke to find Edward holding her and hearing the last strains of a gutturally screamed "NO!" that must have been coming from somewhere deep within herself. She was breathing heavily and freezing, though her skin felt like fire. Edward rocked her as she found herself, once again, crying into his chest.

Carlisle was coming back into the room with his doctor's bag and everyone else was standing around with that damned pitying expression. It made her blood boil to even look at them, so she focused on Edward's face. It was twisted with anger and worry, but no pity. Never pity from Edward. And that was all she needed right now. Why couldn't the others stop looking at her that way?

"Bella, you fell asleep during the movie and gave us a bit of a start when we couldn't wake you from your nightmare. Are you feeling better now?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, Carlisle, now that I've gotten my bearings. I'm sorry to have disturbed everyone's movie." Bella responded. It seemed as if every other word out of her mouth was 'sorry' these days.

"Don't be silly, Bella. We didn't mind. You saved Edward and me from that horrible drudge Alice called a movie!" Emmett said, trying to be supportive and light-hearted.

"Bella, you appear to be running a fever. Your skin is very hot but you seem to feel very cold. That's not a good sign. Do you mind if I take your temperature? It is really for your own good." Carlisle asked.

"Of course not, Carlisle, go ahead." Bella knew what he would find, but she had no idea just how high her temperature would be.

"102.6!" Carlisle announced. "Could the rest of you give us some privacy? I have some questions to ask Bella about her recovery so if you could take a run down the beach for a half hour or so, save for Esme, so that she can truly have some privacy, that would be very much appreciated by Bella, I'm sure."

There was a chorus of "yeah sure", "OK", "I need to stretch my legs anyway", and a few others thrown in to make her feel better about kicking them out of their own house so she could talk to Carlisle and Esme without the others hearing her.

Once they were gone, Carlisle turned to Bella with all seriousness and she dreaded the question she knew was about to come.

"Bella, I need to check your wounds for any infection, ok?" Bella just nodded. "We will start with your head." Carlisle stated as he gently pulled off the bandage and poked around to see if there were any signs of infection present, then he replaced the dressings.

"I need to see your legs now, alright?" Bella didn't nod, she simply got up and started walking up the stairs to the bedroom where she covered herself with the blanket, removed her pants, and raised the blanket high enough for Carlisle to see the cuts and burns on her legs. He quietly replaced the ointment and the bandages and pulled the blanket down.

"Now your back, if that's ok with you." He implored.

"Esme, will you come help me so that my chest stays covered?" Esme quickly entered the room and silently held up the blanket while Bella removed her shirt so Carlisle could see the wounds on her back. He replaced the dressings on the deeper ones but announced that they all looked fine.

"Now Bella, I have to ask you something and I need you to answer honestly. Can you do that?" Carlisle asked her.

"Yes, Carlisle. I could never lie to you." Bella said in a shaky voice, knowing what was coming next. Esme held up the blanket once again and Bella replaced her shirt.

"Are there any marks on your chest that Esme and I haven't seen that could be the culprit?" Carlisle asked.

Bella looked down into her lap and barely whispered an answer.

"There are some bite marks, but they aren't yellow and they are mostly bruises. The skin was only broken in a couple of places and the skin isn't hot or red around them."

"Would you mind showing Esme so she can make certain?" Carlisle gently implored. He was nothing if not thorough. Bella hesitated, and then finally nodded.

"Thank you." Carlisle said. "I will be outside the room to give you full privacy.

Once Carlisle had exited through the door, Bella hesitantly began to raise her shirt once more, but Esme didn't see anything and looked puzzled. That's when Bella removed the sports bra, which covered a large area of her chest, and Esme gasped in horror at what she saw. There were at least eight bite marks of differing sizes and degrees of depth on Bella's breasts. Some had bruised only slightly, others a deep purple. True to Bella's word, the skin was only broken in two small spots and neither was infected.

"My sweet Bella, I am so sorry." Esme said. "You can put your shirt back on now."

"Could you help me this time? I'm getting so sore, it's hard to do it myself so many times in a row." Bella asked sheepishly.

"Of course, dear!" Esme quickly helped Bella dress, and then gave her a gentle hug before called Carlisle back into the room. Of course she didn't need to fill him in, the vampire hearing had done that for her.

"Well, it looks like the outside cuts and bruises are healing on target, Bella. That means that something else is causing the infection. You understand that, right?" Carlisle slowly explained, not wanting to put her into another shocked tirade or make her a puddle in the corner again. Bella simply nodded.

"How are you feeling elsewhere? Internally?"

"Carlisle, we both know that is where the infection is. Can't you order some antibiotics or something?" Bella asked, hopefully.

"I wish it were that easy, Bella, but I have to take a culture of the infected area to determine what type of infection we are dealing with before I can prescribe the right medication. Fortunately, with vampire sight, I don't need a microscope, but I do need the cultures and that means another quick examination." Carlisle told her, apologetically.

Bella's face was stone cold, her body rigid. She looked him in the eye.

"Just do what you have to do and do it quickly, please. She said with no waiver in her voice, showing no fear. "Esme, will you please stay with me? I want to get this over with before the others return from their run."

"Of course, dear. Carlisle can manage that timeframe, I think." Esme looked pityingly at Bella and it took everything in Bella not to punch her right then and there.

Carlisle made quick work of positioning Bella on the bed and taking the samples that he needed. Bella held tightly to Esme, but just squinted her eyes closed and gritted her teeth through the pain. Finally, when he was done, Bella quickly dressed and then ran for the bathroom where she vomited her vegetable soup. This time it was Esme who held her hair back. 'Pretty soon the entire family will have protected my hair from my vomit', thought Bella, dryly.

"There was definitely evidence of infection. I will take these to my study and have a look as quickly as possible and send someone out for medication. Infections like these are nothing to be messed with. You do want children someday, right, Bella? It wouldn't take much for an infection of this voracity to leave you sterile and possibly take your life." Carlisle tried to explain.

"Carlisle, right now I wouldn't care much if it took my life and as for children, what man would ever want sex with me? The broken virgin, branded by another man? Scarred in all the wrong areas? There will be no children in my future, even if I do survive this." Bella said with a deadpan expression.

"Bella, don't talk like that, everything looks bleak now, but you WILL heal and the scars will fade and you will go on with your life and meet someone and have babies and a life like everyone else. This is a huge bump in your road, but it's just a bump. You will learn to live with it, you will learn to get passed this. I promise you!" Esme said as she grabbed her in a hug.

"How do you know that?"

"Rose did and you are a stronger person that Rose, though you can't tell her I said that."

"I don't think so, but thank you. I would like to be alone now if you don't mind." Bella requested, just as they heard the others returning, laughing and joking as if what had happened upstairs had never taken place. The third time she had been violated in as many days. She didn't know how much more she could handle. Or how much more she wanted to handle.

So much for being alone. The entire group gathered in her bedroom.

"Edward, will you—"

"Of course! You need only ask and I will be perfectly happy to sit by your side all night if that is what you need." He replied after hearing the beginnings of her whispered request and zipping up the stairs with lightning speed.

"Technically, you didn't give me the chance to ask." Bella smiled sheepishly and Edward grinned back.

"I suppose I didn't. Bella, you were saying something?" And she playfully slapped him on the shoulder, which left her hand stinging from the cold hard stone that was his body. As she stood shaking her hand in the air, Edward grabbed it and gently kissed it, surprising her and himself. He quickly let her go.

"You shouldn't go around hitting vampires, it is dangerous for your health." Edward said wryly and grinned, as if nothing had happened.

"Yeah, I keep forgetting you guys are so different from me. I guess that's a good sign, right? Shows my lack of prejudice or something?"

"Bella, dear, I don't think you have a prejudiced bone in your body! To you, everyone is equal. Even that awful Jessica." Edward said, with disdain.

"Hey! Jessica has some very good qualities!" Bella retorted.

"Oh yeah? Name three!" Edward challenged.

While Bella and Edward's playful banter went back and forth, Carlisle and Esme were whispering to themselves in the corner of the room so low they could barely hear each other and no human ear could ever pick up the sounds of their voices.

"Why do you think it is Edward that has been able to reach her? Not an hour ago, she was so despondent upstairs and now she is sharing playful banter and seems to be in the moment, which she so rarely is right now. Why is it that he can do something the rest of us cannot and pull her out of that Hell for even short periods of time, Carlisle?" Esme asked, perplexed.

"I don't know, Esme, darling, but I am thrilled that she has found someone that makes her feel better for those short stints." Carlisle replied softly.

"Oh, me too! I just don't understand it. They rarely spoke to each other before now and now they are inseparable. I would think that a man would be the last person she would want around."

"Apparently she trusts Edward implicitly and I've noticed that he is more comfortable around her. He doesn't seem so stiff and waiting for her to crumble. I don't know if his ability to read minds also give him a certain sense of empathy or if he simply comes by it naturally, but he doesn't seem to be constantly worried about her the way that the rest of us are. Maybe she sees that he has a faith in her the rest of us are lacking. Perhaps we aren't giving her enough credit." Carlisle mused.

"What about other rape victims you've dealt with? How have they recovered and what do you recommend?" Esme asked.

"Aside from Rose, there have been few rape victims I've treated in my time. Hospitals typically prefer female doctors handle those cases, for obvious reasons, so I'm at a bit of a disadvantage as well. In my experience, however, she will need a great deal of time and space to heal from this and some encouragement from us to tell her parents what happened and to go to the authorities with her story. Far too many of these cases go unreported and the perpetrators are never apprehended. But we can't force her to do anything she isn't ready for. Trying to do that will only push her further away from us, the one support system she does have right now. " Carlisle exclaimed.

"That's too bad. I was hoping you might have some more insight, my loving husband." Esme said facetiously as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Perhaps it is time we retire to our room now and leave the young ones alone?" Carlisle responded.

"Gross, Bella can't hear you, but we still can!" Came Emmett's voice with a groan. Despite himself, Carlisle chuckled and Bella stopped and turned to him with a start, as if she had forgotten there were others in the room. The spell was broken and the playfulness with Edward came to an end.

"We are going to take leave of you, kids, if that is ok with all of you."

"Ew, just go! Alice exclaimed from the opposite side of the room.

Carlisle and Esme laughed as they backed out of Bella's room and disappeared into their own.

"Why ew?" Bella asked. "They're older, maybe they want to go to bed or some—" Then she cut herself off when it dawned on her that vampires don't sleep. "Oh. Right, ew." And the others laughed while she blushed profusely.

After a couple hours of board games in the living room, Bella announced she was exhausted and the others looked relieved. She suspected they were all going to be up to amorous activities of their own soon and she didn't want to think about that. She made her way, stiffly and with aching muscles, to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face before climbing into Edward's long sleeved t-shirt and leggings and emerging from the bathroom looking grim and so tired, Edward thought she might fall over. He quickly walked over and picked her up into his arms.

"We have to stop meeting like this." Bella smiled shyly.

"You look dead on your feet, Bella. You should have gone to bed long ago. Tomorrow you will sleep earlier, ok?" Edward practically ordered her.

"I didn't want you to have to leave the party earlier than you had to, but I did push things a little tonight." She yawned and curled herself into him.

"How many times do I have to tell you that we are here for you, and that includes me? I'm not interested in hanging out with my family. I can do that anytime. We are here to help you. Tomorrow, bed by 9:00, no arguments." Edward insisted.

"No arguments," she said sleepily. "The cold makes my bruises and sore muscles feel better, thank you.

"No problem, I'm here to serve, now let's get you to bed!" Edward had barely tucked her in when her eyes began to fall shut and she drifted off. It wasn't long before the nightmares began again.

Heavy breathing.

Sweat.

Blood.

Tearing in half.

"Bella! Bella, wake up!" Edward begged. She was fighting him in her sleep and he was afraid she would hurt herself. "It is just a dream, please wake up!" Finally, Bella woke with a start and a cascade of tears. She was confused, lost, could still smell the smells, hear the sounds, and feel her body being ripped apart. She whimpered and crawled as far from Edward as she could go.

"Bella, it's just me, just Edward. Do you want me to get one of the girls?" They both heard a flurry of activity outside the bedroom door and Bella came back down to reality quickly enough to register what he had said and shake her head.

"OK, you don't want anyone else, do you want me to go?" Again, she shook her head. Slowly, she crawled back down to Edward and put herself in his lap, her head on his chest once more and she whispered.

"Please protect me, Edward. Make the bad dreams go away." Bella was like a child, so Edward treated her like one would treat a child. He carefully lay her down on the bed and crawled in beside her, careful to only touch her upper body. He put his arm under her shoulders and held her to him, gently rocking her and whispering calming words until she fell asleep.

Bella awoke the next day with a start. She realized she was wrapped in blankets but also in Edward's arms and that, miraculously, she hadn't had another bad dream all night.

"Look who's awake, sleepy head!" Edward laughed as Bella blushed her familiar shade of pale pink and unwound herself from him. Taking her gesture to mean she was uncomfortable with his proximity, he quickly jumped from the bed and landed deftly in the chair next to it. That's when Bella noticed the clock. It said 1:00 and judging by the bright light outside, it wasn't the middle of the night!

"No way! No freaking way! It can't be 1:00! I went to bed at like midnight last night and I slept until 1:00?"

"You needed the rest. Carlisle was ecstatic, though he was surprised to see me lying next to you. I hope I didn't do anything wrong, it was the only way to get you to sleep. You sleep like a rock that way, only a few murmurings but when I stroked your cheek, they stopped completely and you went peacefully calm again. Did I do anything wrong, Bella?"

"No, apparently you did everything right. Here I've been trying to act all brave and adult and maybe I needed a little bit of being a child to find some peaceful moments when I can. Thank you, Edward, for being there for me."

"Anytime, Bella, you know that."

"It must have been incredibly boring, watching me sleep all night." Bella said and blushed again.

"On the contrary. I found it fascinating watching you sleep and dream. A vampire body is never not in control of itself, it has no subconscious. A human mind while it sleeps looks so free and unencumbered, most of the time. It is just fascinating to watch." Edward explained as Bella blushed again and didn't even really know why.

At that very quiet moment, her stomach took the opportunity to growl louder than she had ever heard it growl before!

"You're hungry! Maybe we can get something of substance inside you today. You are looking a little pale and thin, Ms. Swan, and we can't have you losing weight. That would NOT do!" Bella appreciated the fact that Edward made her feel normal. She knew he wasn't looking at her black eyes or her bruises and cuts. He was just looking at her as if she were the same old Bella and for that, she would be eternally grateful. Someday she would have the courage to thank him. Now, however, she just smiled and nodded, shyly, and he disappeared to whip up some culinary genius, no doubt!

She was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling, not really knowing what to do with herself when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," she said, expecting a very welcome tray of food but instead finding Esme and Carlisle entering her room and closing the door behind them.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Better after starting the antibiotics yesterday. Truly. I don't need another examination right?" Panic was beginning to rise in her voice.

"No, no, nothing like that. We wanted to talk to you about how you're doing in general. You went through a really terrible trauma and Carlisle and I were thinking that maybe you should go talk to someone." Esme interjected.

"No, no way!" Bella sat up and slowly swung her feet off of the bed, getting up to pace the floor. I told you that if I let you examine me, there would be no more mention about what happened. I'm fine, I slept all night last night and well into the day. Edward is downstairs making me lunch because I'm starving. The black eyes are almost green now and the rest of the bruises will fade with time. The cuts will heal. I'm fine!" Bella ranted as she paced.

"It's ok, Bella, please don't get upset. We were just hoping you would—" Esme was abruptly cut off.

"I feel like everyone wants something from me! They either want me to crack or they want me normal or their morbid curiosity wants every detail. Everyone but Edward. He doesn't want anything, just to sit by my bed and hold my hand to make me feel safe. I'm tired of everyone wanting something from me. I have nothing more to give, don't you understand?" And Bella fell painfully to her knees in wracking sobs.

Hesitantly, Carlisle and Esme moved slowly to either side of her and placed her in a gentle hug, rocking her back and forth.

"We are terribly sorry, Bella, if we've handled this situation incorrectly in anyway. This is unfamiliar territory for us. Just please tell us what you want and we will give it to you, no questions asked." She ignored Carlisle and just sobbed quietly, her head on Esme's shoulder.

Edward, having obviously hearing what had happened from downstairs, quietly entered the room with a tray of food. A garden burger and a spinach side salad. Her favorite meal. But her hunger had gone away and her stomach felt like lead. He walked over to where they were sitting on the floor and quickly swooped Bella up into his arms and sat her on the bed. He placed a fork in her hand.

"Eat," Edward said simply and quietly.

"I'll try, she responded as Esme and Carlisle, looking distraught and confused, slipped out the door. Before long, Edward had Bella talking about everything from school to Charlie to her beat up Chevy truck and Bella had found her appetite and began eating her meal voraciously, finishing every bite.

"Thank you, Edward." Bella whispered as she placed her fork on her empty plate.

"For what?"

"For everything." And they sat quietly for a few moments.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" Edward asked, breaking the comfortable silence. She bristled, but nodded. What if he became like them? What if all he wanted to know were details about what had happened, what if he wanted her to talk to him about everything after all and this had all been a ruse?

"Bella, why me? Why not Alice or Esme or even Rosalie? Why do I bring you comfort? I would think you would want to be as far away from men as possible." Bella thought in silence for a moment before she answered.

"I don't completely understand it. I just know that you want nothing from me and that I trust you and right now, that's what I need." She intentionally left off the part about him being as pissed off as she was. She didn't want that to change if she brought attention to it.

"Ok, I guess that makes sense. I was just curious." Edward smiled and grabbed her plate.

"I think I'm going to get dressed and go spend some time in the sun, should I cover the stitches with something that is thicker, like cotton dressings, to keep the sun's rays at bay? I'm thinking some time alone with a good book might be just what the doctor ordered." And she smiled at him.

"Are you sure you want to be alone?" Edward asked, with concern.

"Yes, I think I need some time to think and what better way to do that than in the California sun. Besides, if I don't come back with some kind of color, Charlie will be suspicious. He may be a quiet man, but he notices everything!" Bella replied with a nervous smile.

"Carlisle!" Edward called. Within seconds, Carlisle was at the door with the material he needed to protect Bella's wounds from the sun.

"I hear our patient wants to spend some time in the sun! That's a wonderful idea! Get out, get some fresh air and enjoy the blue sky for a change." Carlisle was all smiles as he entered the room.

"I will give you two some privacy," Edward said as he exited.

"We will leave the waterproof bandages on for now and I will change those later tonight. I will tape some gauze over the wounds to keep them nice and protected from the sun, ok?" Bella nodded her approval and slowly raised the leg of her pants until one long slash was uncovered, then the other, then finally Carlisle covered the cut on her head.

"That should do it!" He exclaimed as he placed the last bit of tape on her head. "Just be careful out there and take things easy and stay out of the water, ok?"

"Of course." Bella said, a little irritated that he would repeat the no 'bathing' rule yet again. She had been attacked, not struck dumb.

"I will leave you to dress, then." Carlisle said as he started to leave the room.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

"You are very welcome, my dear. Oh, I think I hear Esme coming. You might want to wait to get dressed in case she needs you." And he was gone.

"Bella, honey, can I come in?" There was a timid knock at the door and Esme's quiet voice asking permission to enter.

"Yes, I'm decent." Bella replied.

"I hate to bother you, dear, but your father has been calling my phone repeatedly and asking to speak to you. I keep putting him off, but he is becoming rather insistent. Do you think you are up to having a conversation with him?" Bella felt the panic rise in her chest at the thought of talking to her father.

"Esme, I can't right now. Please. I'm going to the beach for a little while. I'm going to sit by myself and collect my thoughts. What if I promise to call him tonight when I come back inside. Could you live with him bugging you until then?" Bella said with hope and pleading in her voice.

"Of course, darling. Whatever you need." She gave Bella a quick hug, which again Bella tried not to cringe away from, and left the room, closing the door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5: Lies

Chapter 5: Lies

Bella went to the clothing Esme had packed for her and started to put on another long sleeved shirt and pants but then realized how hot she would be in the California sun. The others had already seen her bruises and cuts, thanks to her tantrum on the airplane, so why be afraid to let them see them now? She chose a t-shirt and a pair of Bermuda shorts instead and dressed as quickly as she could. She was anxious to get away from the Cullens for a while and be on her own to clear her head. She had been with them every minute since the attack and she needed some space.

Bella spent the remaining afternoon in a beach chair staring at the ocean. Wherever the Cullens were, they were leaving her alone. She knew that someone was likely watching her at all times, but she could pretend to be in her own little bubble, anyway. Watching the waves go in and out, in and out, like they did every minute of every day. As if nothing had happened and the world was still normal. She resented them a little for their indifference but realized how ridiculous that sounded and laughed to herself.

"What's so funny?" Edward said, startling her out of her reverie.

"Um, nothing. Just a random weird thought, that's all." Bella Stammered.

"I have those from time to time myself." Edward smiled and sat down in the sand beside her.

Bella expected herself to be disappointed at being interrupted, but instead she found herself glad to see Edward.

"How are you doing out here? Not sun burning or anything, are you?" Edward asked with concern.

"No, all lathered up with 50 SPF!" Bella proudly displayed the bottle. Esme had thought of everything.

"50, really?" Edward said as he laughed. "The trick is to not let the rays burn you not to repel them altogether!"

"Yeah, well, you're talking to someone who would be a lobster without this stuff in about 10 minutes in this sun. I've spent too many weeks in the summers as a kid flat on my back from falling asleep in the sun to forget the good old SPF!" Bella exclaimed and laughed.

Edward made her feel so much better when he was around. She just didn't understand why. What she didn't know, however, was that Edward was starting to feel better when she was around and rather than coming just to check on her, he had missed her company and had interrupted her for selfish reasons of his own.

Edward looked at Bella and felt a strange feeling in his chest. It was something he had never felt before, something entirely new, and he had no idea what it was. He just knew that he was feeling it around Bella and he felt guilty for feeling anything but anger towards her attackers when he saw her bruises.

Before he could stop himself, he ran his hand up her bruised arm.

"Do they hurt?" He asked before he thought about it.

"Not unless someone touches them." Bella replied and he pulled away with a look of horror on his face. She laughed at his expression.

"No, no, I'm just teasing. They hurt sometimes when I'm lying on them or bump into things – which I do A LOT – but there is just a dull ache most of the time. The cuts hurt the worst. Especially when I move." She finished quietly, the joke forgotten.

"I'm sorry for what they did to you, Bella. I plan to find them and do something about it, you know." Edward said.

"No, Edward, please. Just let it go. They've done their damage and probably moved on. I doubt they were even local, they probably just stumbled onto the dance and thought it might be a good opportunity to grab someone. Besides, I don't want you in any trouble and I don't want you to have to leave, ok?" Bella grabbed Edward's hand and pleaded with him.

"Don't get upset, Bella. I will do whatever you want. If you want me to stay out of it, then I will do that. I just want to help you."

"And I welcome your help," Bella replied, a heady sound to her voice. If Edward wasn't mistaken, he sensed something in Bella that he was feeling himself. A strange attraction that wasn't there before. But he told himself that that was crazy. She had just been raped a few days ago. She couldn't be feeling anything close to attraction to any man, especially one that hadn't even been on her radar before the attack…could she?

"Esme has dinner ready for you." Edward said, changing the subject. "Carlisle will have my head if I don't bring you inside to eat." Bella sighed.

"OK, I guess it is getting kind of late. I am a bit hungry."

"Sweet words to hear, shall we go? Will you be in need of my chariot?" Edward made an exaggerated bow in front of her. She laughed and stood up.

"No, if we take things slowly, I can walk it. I got myself out here, didn't I?" Then she took Edward's hand and he felt electrified at her soft, gentle touch.

They arrived to a melee in the living room of the beach house. It was designed to enjoy the outdoors, so the only television in the house was in the living room. Emmett wanted to play video games and the girls wanted to watch something on television. They were arguing on and on about who had used the television the most and whose turn it was and Bella and Edward just stood in the doorway, a bit dumfounded by how the fight was escalating. Finally, Bella put two fingers to her mouth and whistled.

"How old are you guys again? I thought I was the teenager!" Then the tension released and there were some giggles.

"How about you let the girls watch their tv show and then I kick your ass at Mario Kart afterwards, Emmett?"

"Hell yeah, Bella!" Then there were grumbles of 'fine', and 'whatever' from the girls as Bella sat down to a dinner of spaghetti and broccoli.

"Thank you, Esme, this looks fabulous and I'm starving!" Bella smiled at Esme and picked up her fork.

"You are very welcome, dear. I had hoped all that fresh air would be good for the appetite!" Esme looked pleased that Bella was eating and sat across the table from her. For the first time, there was no piteous look. Bella, Esme, Edward, and Carlisle had a normal conversation about life and home and things in general and for a few moments, Bella felt normal.

That night Edward, as he lay next to Bella, caught himself inhaling just to catch her strawberry scent and watching her bright red lips mumble while she slept. She talked about Charlie, she talked to Jessica and Angela, she even murmured his name a few times. But she never talked about THEM. Not for 10 hours straight.

That was the pattern that continued for the next few days until they found it was Sunday and time to return home. Bella would sleep long hours in Edward's arms while he watched her, he would make her lunch while Carlisle changed her dressings, then she would spend hours on the beach before Edward would collect her and they would walk hand in hand back for dinner and movies or video games and Bella would fall asleep, utterly exhausted again.

That was before Sunday. They had an early flight plan to get Bella back in plenty of time to settle in before school the next day and to help her hide her wounds from Charlie. Bella woke around 4am, sweating from a nightmare with Edward coaxing her awake.

"Edward, how do I face Charlie? How do I go back there? How do I exist in Forks? How do I walk into gym class tomorrow like nothing's happened? I don't think I can do it!"

"Ssshhhh, Bella. It's OK. We will talk to Carlisle, figure something out. Maybe you can develop the flu and ease back into things. Face Charlie first and then school, ok? That should make things a little easier. I'm sorry that you have to go back there. I'm really sorry." Edward tried hard to comfort her. They sat up in bed, Edward just holding her while she sat there imagining the scenarios she might face at home for two hours until it was time for Bella to get up and shower and dress.

Everyone was quiet on the plane ride back until just before landing. Bella and Edward sat side-by-side, her hand in his, quietly contemplating what was going to happen after they landed when Carlisle approached and sat opposite Bella.

"So, how are you feeling, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Like I've swallowed rusty nails and they are poking holes in my gut." She answered without skipping a beat and without a smile.

"I know this is going to be hard for you—"Carlisle began when Bella cut him off.

"With all due respect, Carlisle, none of you know how hard this is going to be, except maybe Rose, and she got to come back as a badass vampire and kill the men who hurt her, which I can't do, so even she can't completely get it." Bella spat.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I meant no offense. I'm just trying to help. We will take those stitches out once we get back to our home. That should make you much more comfortable. You won't have to keep them covered any longer. Unfortunately, some of your bruises are still quite dark but it is the upper Northwest. The weather might allow you to wear pants and long sleeves, for the most part, since it is only early April." Carlisle looked apprehensive before continuing.

"Edward mentioned that he thought I might be able to convince Charlie that you have the flu and to keep you home for a few days. I think that can be arranged, but you are going to have to go home to Charlie tonight. I'm afraid if we keep you any longer, he may send the entire state police force to come get you. He loves you, Bella. I'm sure if you told him—"

"NO! You promised not to tell Charlie! You all promised not to tell Charlie, you can't go back on your word! I couldn't handle it if Charlie knew what they did to me. I just couldn't handle it. Please, Carlisle, I'm begging you!" Bella pleaded.

"Of course he isn't going to tell Charlie," Edward interrupted. "It's OK, Bella. It's OK." Edward cooed softly as he held her in his arms and she cried.

"No, Bella. I would never dream of breaking your confidence. I think that it should come from you, but if you are not ready, then so be it. I won't say a word and neither will anyone else." Carlisle attempted to reassure a distraught Bella.

"Thank you." Bella whispered through her tears.

The plane landed and Carlisle and Jasper retrieved their vehicles from long term parking while Bella waited with the others, her hood pulled up high, sunglasses on, but looking less out of place in the Port Angeles rain. The drive from Port Angeles was quiet. No one really knew what to say to Bella and she didn't know what to say to anyone else. She just sat close to Edward and held his hand. Afraid if she let go she would come undone.

Finally, they arrived at the Cullen house and everyone began taking their luggage to their respectable rooms. Edward dropped Bella's near the door and ushered her over to the sofa.

"How are you doing?" He asked

"Not so great, to be honest. I don't know if I can see Charlie and fake the old Bella. She's dead to me now. Gone for good. How do you pretend to be something that you are so far removed from?" She asked as she lay her head on his shoulder and he enjoyed her strawberry scent.

"Bella, you are strong. You survived something that would have killed most people. It would have left them incapable of taking care of themselves, at the very least. But you got up and you got help and you are calling the shots. That's a strength not many people possess. You can face Charlie and you can be the old Bella for him. It won't be easy, but after everything you've been through, it will be doable." Edward tried to boost Bella's confidence.

"I hope I know how to find her again. I'm just glad that I don't see my Dad all that often with his long work hours and school and everything." Bella paused, reluctant to continue. "I hate to admit it, but I'm afraid to be alone tonight. I've grown to depend on you too much. They have my address, what if they come back?" Bella finally asked.

"Guys like that don't come back, Bella. They move on to their next victim and they continue their reign of terror elsewhere. It's how they work. They break one woman at a time until somebody stops them." Edward spat out the last part with such anger, it almost made Bella giddy.

"Do you really believe that?" She asked with doubt.

"Absolutely. You trust me, right?" Bella nodded. "Then believe me when I say that they are long gone and you are safe. If you want, Emmett, Jasper and I can take watch outside your house tonight. And for a while. Just until you feel safe." Edward suggested.

"Would you really do that for me? It might help…but I hate to ask you to waste your time sitting outside my house waiting for the Boogeyman that will likely never show up." Bella said, embarrassed at what she believed was probably an irrational fear.

"We would be happy to do it." Edward said.

"Hells yeah!" Came Emmett's voice from somewhere upstairs.

"Count me in!" Shouted Jasper.

"OK, then, it is settled. Now let's go get Carlisle to take those stitches out and Rose to help you with the makeup around your eyes, although I don't think you need much." Edward suggested. Her black eyes had turned a sickly yellow color, but that would be easier to cover up than the blue and purple they had been. Her arms and legs were a different matter, but everything was covered by her long clothing. Perfect for this rainy, foggy, Forks day.

"Alright." Said Bella, feeling better.

Carlisle removed the stitches and Edward offered to drive her home. Alice demanded to ride shotgun because SHE, Charlie liked. Edward alone with his 16 year old daughter, probably not so much. Carlisle called ahead to let Charlie know that Bella had developed a flu bug the previous day and would need plenty of fluids and rest for several days. Bella was grateful that when they arrived home, Charlie was out shopping for those fluids. Alice and Edward followed her upstairs, Edward carrying her bag and Alice chatting about bringing Bella her homework the next day and anything she could think of. She helped Bella unpack while Edward put her to bed.

"It will be easier to pretend if you are sick in bed." He stated just as they heard Charlie's car pull into the driveway. "I'd better get downstairs before Charlie comes in. Alice, you will act as interference for a few moments?" Alice nodded and Edward leaned down and gently kissed Bella on the forehead, which surprised them all, then zipped downstairs with the speed of a vampire just as Charlie opened the door.

"Hello, Edward." Charlie said, surprised by his presence.

"Hello, Chief Swan, Bella is upstairs. Alice is helping her get into bed and putting some of her things away for her.

"She must have it bad, then, huh?" Charlie, the germophobe, looked upstairs with trepidation.

"Yes, sir. She was vomiting all night and on the plane ride home. We will be lucky if we don't all catch it from her. If I were you, I would give her some space while she gets well." Edward said, hoping to help Bella avoid as much contact as possible with her father.

"Yeah, well, Bella has never been one that wanted to be coddled anyway. I will make sure she gets her fluids, though! I got ginger ale, Jello, chicken soup…a few other things I can't remember. I just got whatever the sales clerk said I should buy for a sick kid." Charlie was so out of his element here.

Edward smiled. Charlie obviously loved Bella and tried so hard to take care of her, but what do you do with an independent girl like Bella who hasn't needed anyone to care for her since she had aged into the double digits? Edward was worried, though, about how Bella would handle being alone with her father when they were all gone. Of course he would be right outside, but that was probably of little comfort to her.

"Well, Chief Swan, Alice can help you get her all set up if you'd like to go upstairs now and see her." Edward said. May as well see how it was going to go before he left. "I will wait down here for my sister."

"Yeah, I suppose I should go do that." Charlie started up the stairs reluctantly.

Bella heard her father's familiar footsteps on the stairs and grabbed Alice's hand.

"Alice, I can't do this." She whispered frantically. "I can't face him."

"Charlie doesn't know anything, Bella. You will be fine. I will help, ok? I will ease you into conversing with your father. I'm sorry, Bella, I truly am, but you are going to have to talk to him if you want to continue hiding what happened or he is going to get suspicious."

And then he was there, in the doorway, looking at Bella as if she were an animal with two heads.

"Hey, Bells. I hear you aren't feeling so well."

"Y-y-y-yeah, Dad. I caught some kind of bug, probably from flying. You know how germy airplanes can be." She stammered.

"Yep, that's why I rarely fly. Filled with germs and stuff. I bought you some Ginger Ale, would you like some?" Charlie asked and Bella just nodded.

Edward was listening downstairs and was dying to run upstairs and hold her and rock her and tell her that everything was going to be ok and how strong she was. But he knew he couldn't, so he gritted his teeth while he waited, and listened.

"Thanks, Dad." Bella said as Charlie took a cold can of soda out of his shopping bag.

"Do you need anything else?" Charlie asked as he backed towards the door. "I have soup and…stuff."

"No, this is good. Thank you for going to all the trouble." Bella said with a smile.

"You're welcome, kid. It's good to have you back. Was gettin' a little lonely around here!" Charlie exclaimed with his hand on the doorknob. "I guess I will leave you to talk to Alice, but not too long, ok, Alice? She needs her rest."

"Of course, Charlie, I will just say my goodbyes." Alice promised. With that, Charlie quickly exited the room and closed the door.

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Alice asked.

"No, I can handle it from here." Bella said, relieved.

"If you need me, I can sneak back in through the window." Alice whispered.

"No, but thank you." It was Edward she wished had offered that, but she couldn't ask any more from him.

"Ok, I'm going to go if you don't need anything else, then…" Alice said, hesitantly. "Are you sure you don't need me to stay?"

"No, it's—" And her voice was cut off by a knock.

"Bells, I forgot. You received a package while you were gone. It looks like a shoebox. Did you order some shoes?" Charlie poked his head and arm in the door, extended with a package in his hand. Bella saw a strange look pass across Alice's face as she grabbed the box from Charlie.

"I ordered them for Bella and completely forgot. I will turn her into a fasionista if it kills me!" Alice giggled.

"OK, then, enjoy the shoes." Charlie said and left the room, obviously uninterested. Bella reached for the package.

"You bought me shoes, Alice?" Bella sounded confused.

"No, um, but…don't open this, ok. Would you trust me and just let me take it with me and give it to Carlisle?" Alice said with little hope in her voice.

"No way, give it to me!" Bella ordered. Edward appeared at the door.

"I smelled blood." Edward whispered. "What the Hell happened." Then he realized where it was coming from and moved to take the box from Bella gently but she turned away from him.

"What's wrong with you, two. What do you mean blood?" Then it dawned on Bella what she held in her hands. She slowly unwrapped the plain brown paper and pulled the lid off the top of the box. Lying on top of tissue paper was a typed note that read 'Thought you might be needing these'. Edward grabbed the note and growled in anger. Bella slowly pulled back the tissue paper and inside the box were her heels from the night of the dance, bloodied, scuffed, and one broken during her struggle. Edward put his hand over her mouth to stifle her scream as she dropped the box and Alice quickly picked it up and replaced the lid, carrying it over to Bella's desk.

"It's ok, Bella. No one is here to hurt you. It's ok. They couldn't get through us if they tried, remember? I would rip their heads off if they tried." Edward tried to calm Bella down.

"And I would help!" Alice promised.

Bella was shaking uncontrollably and Edward and Alice were worried, both wondering if they should call Carlisle when she looked up at them finally and spoke in a dead calm voice.

"I'm fine. Just take those with you. You can go now. There is nothing to worry about. I will have my own vampire goon squad outside my house tonight so I know that I will be safe. Really, you can go."

Edward and Alice were surprised by Bella's sudden change in demeanor, but Edward stood and Alice collected the box as they headed for the door.

"That's right, Bella. Jasper, Emmett, and I will be right outside all night."

"And I will come spend the day tomorrow, maybe bring Rosalie." Alice chimed in.

"Thank you, I'm fine." She had stopped shaking and was so calm, it was almost eerie. Even to two vampires. Then Alice got a strange look on her face, the look she gets when visions strike her and she realized why Bella was so calm.

"Bella Swan!" Alice hissed. "How could you even think of doing something like that? What about Charlie? What about me and all your friends? Your Mom and Phil? What about all the people in your life who love you?" Then she turned to Edward.

"She made the decision to overdose on the painkillers Carlisle gave her the time Tyler almost hit her with his van. She still has about 20 left in the bottle and she was hoping that would be enough to do the job right, which it would have done it quite well!" Alice looked angry and hurt and sad all at the same time.

"Bella, why? Why would you do something like that? After everything you've been through, this is what pushes you to suicide? You know we can't let you do that. You know that so many people love you who would support you through this and we've honored your decision not to tell them but you would do this, anyway?" Edward questioned her quietly, trying not to draw Charlie's attention from his room across the hall.

Bella burst into tears and started rocking back and forth.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking or why, I just know that I can't stand the skin I'm in. I can't stand feeling the way that I feel. They violated me and now they've violated my home. Nothing is safe, nothing is sacred. I'm just so tired. I just want it to stop." Bella finished in a whisper as she dissolved into silent, wracking sobs.

Edward quickly appeared at her side on the bed, enveloping her in a hug and rocking with her cooing words of comfort as she cried against his chest. Alice stood, not knowing what to do. Still angry at Bella for what she had been thinking of doing and searching her decisions to make sure she had changed her mind but for now, Bella's future was murky and Alice didn't like that.

The thought of Bella committing suicide nearly ripped Edward's heart out and he was surprised by the intensity of his reaction. Had he been human, he would have been crying. As it was, all he could do was sit with her and try to console her when he wanted to run far away with her and keep her safe from the thugs who had broken his Bella.

HIS Bella?

What was he thinking? She wasn't his anything. But he was feeling so protective of her and, he had to admit to himself, a bit possessive. He wanted to be the one to comfort her. He wanted to be the one to make the hurt go away. He wanted to be the one to make everything better. But he didn't know how and he didn't know if she would even want him to be the one to do those things. Edward was so confused about his feelings.

A little more than a week ago, Bella was just some girl his sister hung out with who had figured out their secret and he was wary she would keep it. Now, she was a girl who could cause him to want to cry and to want to kill and to want to kiss…Edward chastised himself for thinking such a thing. Bella had been so traumatized, of course she wouldn't be thinking or feeling the same way that he did. He had to get a grip on himself.

Bella had stopped crying and was starting to pull away from him. Alice had stopped searching Bella's future and was focused on the present and Edward found himself missing Bella's touch as she pulled away.

"I'm ok now, guys. Really. You should go before Charlie comes back and finds Edward in here. He would be less than thrilled. And you've done so much, I'm sure if you don't feel like staying outside my house, I will be safe—"Bella started to let them off the hook for babysitting her but Edward cut her off.

"Don't even say it. We will be out there." Edward looked at Alice, obviously reading her mind and Alice nodded that it appeared to be safe to leave her alone. "Bella, do you mind if I take the pills with me in case you start thinking about things and change your mind again?" Bella sheepishly opened up her bedside table, took out the bottle of pain pills and threw them to Edward silently.

"Thank you, Bella. Emmett and Jazz are already outside, I will go join them." Edward finished as he started towards the door.

"And I will be back tomorrow morning, ok?" Alice said as she hugged Bella goodbye. "I love you." She added as she followed her brother out the door and down the stairs.

"Would she have really taken them?" Edward asked.

"I saw her funeral," Alice replied. "I don't think I will ever get that vision out of my head." Alice said, visibly shaken.


	6. Chapter 6: Dead end

Chapter 6: Dead end

That night, Bella was so tired, but forced herself to stay awake. She knew that if she fell asleep she would have a vicious nightmare and bring Charlie running. She tried to feel safe knowing that the guys were outside, watching over her, but that did little to calm her fears. She looked around her bedroom, realizing that even those things familiar to her were no longer the same.

Her view of her entire world had been turned on its head. Everything felt too big, too small, too bright, too dark, too somebody else's to be hers. The room felt foreign. Her favorite paint by number she'd done when she was seven of the shih tzu dog, the Christmas lights she'd hung for mood lighting, the desk lamp Charlie had bought for her when she'd moved in with him. They all felt wrong and like they belonged to someone else.

She could feel the panic starting to rise in her chest as she sat up and began rocking back and forth, her knees pulled up tightly, her arms wrapped around them. She had never had a panic attack before, but was pretty sure she was having one now, and there was only one person she wanted to calm her down. One person to hold her and tell her everything was alright.

"Edward?" She whispered into the night air and quicker than she could take another breath, he appeared through her window and at her bedside. "I'm sorry to bother you, but would you mind…I mean, could you…" and she trailed off, not able to ask him to stay with her the way he had in California. Maybe that was a temporary thing? Maybe he didn't really want to be that close to screwed up Bella anymore? Maybe he thought she was too dependent on him?

"Of course, Bella. I will stay with you." Edward proceeded to put his arm around her shoulders and snuggle down into the bed with Bella, her under the covers and him on top so she wouldn't get so cold. She put her head on his chest and within minutes was fast asleep, murmuring to her friends and family in her dreams again.

Edward lay and watched her chest rise and fall, her eyes moving, her lips parting as she mumbled names and occasionally uttered a decipherable word or two. He stared at her lips, red and beautiful and found himself fantasizing about what it would be like to kiss them, to touch them, to hold Bella in his arms and then chastised himself again for letting his mind go there. She needed his help, not his fantasizing about touching her in ways that went beyond friend and caretaker and that's what he was going to give her so he had to stop letting his mind wander to things that he had no business thinking about. Then he heard her utter something that surprised him.

"Edward…mmm…stay…don't go." And he hugged her tighter and stroked her smooth, soft cheek. The cold across her cheek must have surprised her because she awoke and sleepily looked around, taking in her surroundings.

"Edward, you're here? I was dreaming that you had gone and I was left alone." Bella said, sadly.

"I would never leave, Bella. Never. I will be here every night if that's what you need." Edward replied. "At least until Charlie wakes in the mornings."

Bella was more awake now and aware of the conversation. She paused and looked up at him with eyes of wonder.

"I wish I understood why you cared so much and I wish I understood why I like that you care so much." And her face began moving closer to his.

Edward was stunned into silence and unmoving as Bella moved towards him with a heady look on her face. He could tell what was coming and he welcomed it, he just hoped that she would be ok with his touch and that he could control himself with this fragile, human, girl.

Their lips met and instantly electricity passed between the two of them. Bella's mouth began to move against Edward's as Edward returned her kiss automatically. Their passion heated up as Bella put her hands behind Edward's head and pulled him towards her. He ran his hand through her beautiful, dark hair that was so soft and smelled of those amazing strawberries. Bella's lips parted and he felt and tasted her sweet breath as her tongue pressed against his lips and he hungrily opened his mouth and welcomed her into it. Their tongues began a symbiotic dance as if they had been kissing for months. Pulling and pushing back and forth, a dance of true love.

Bella felt herself come alive as Edward sucked her tongue into his mouth and massaged it with his own. She realized how numb she had been and how awake her mind and body was now. This was a touch she wanted, a touch she craved. She ran her hands through his copper hair and pressed his face as close to her as she could, his cold skin an erotic opposite to her warm mouth.

Edward kept himself under control, but it was hard as his hands combed through her gorgeous dark hair, her warm breath a welcome treat to his cold lips. She tasted wonderful and so sweet, he felt himself losing control and finally had to pull away.

They both looked at each other in stunned silence, neither wanting to break the spell but both confused as Hell about what was happening between the two of them.

"They never kissed me." Bella finally whispered, breaking eye contact with Edward and looking down at her hands that had come to rest in front of her. "They hurt me in a lot of ways, Edward, but they never kissed me."

Bella didn't know why it was important for her to make sure Edward knew that, but it was. She wanted him to know that her lips hadn't been tainted. To understand that whatever they had done to her body, her mouth was still pure and belonged to her and now to him. In some strange way, he understood what she meant without her having to explain it all to him. He lifted her chin up so that her eyes met his and gave her a sweet, chaste kiss, then settled them both down into bed with Bella's head resting on his chest and his chin resting on the top of her head. No more words were needed and Bella fell asleep comfortably for the entire night.

Unfortunately, Charlie was an early riser and Edward heard him coming while Bella was still fast asleep but he couldn't risk being discovered so with the speed of a vampire, he was up and out the window in a flash that woke Bella, startled her, and had her starting to sit up when Charlie poked his head in to check on her.

Edward landed deftly beside his brothers who looked at him strangely.

"What the Hell was that, bro?" Emmett asked. "You start making out with a rape victim barely a week after it happens? And with BELLA of all people? What are you thinking?" He seemed genuinely angry. Emmett thought of Bella as a little sister and Edward knew that in his mind, he was protecting her, but he wanted to tell him to butt the Hell out and leave them alone. Thankfully, he didn't.

"I can't explain it, man. It just happened. One minute I'm comforting her and the next minute she's kissing me and I'm kissing her back. I really think I'm starting to feel something for her." Edward replied.

"Be careful," Jasper warned. "A damsel in distress can fall in love with her rescuer only to lose interest when the danger has past and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Him get hurt?" Emmett exclaimed incredulously, "Dude, you had better not do anything to hurt or scare Bella or you will have me to answer to!"

"And me!" Alice's voice chimed in as she approached for her day shift duty of keeping Bella safe and occupied. "I got to see the whole scene play out in full Technicolor the second they made up their minds to kiss and it was definitely…how shall I put this…passionate to say the least. I do think our brother is starting to fall for Bella. I just hope you know what you are doing, Edward." Alice said.

"And I wish you would all mind your own damned business and leave mine alone!" Edward whispered harshly through gritted teeth before zipping off through the woods, leaving them standing outside Bella's house, stunned.

"Hey Bells, feeling any better?" Charlie asked from the relative safety of the doorway.

"No, Dad. Not really. Still feeling pretty terrible."

"No school today, then!" Charlie ordered. "And stay in bed unless you have to get up to get more fluids! Carlisle says those are important for the flu." Bella groaned, trying to react the way the old, whole Bella would have.

"No arguments, Bells!" Charlie said as he ducked out of the room and closed the door. As soon as the front door closed when Charlie left for work, Alice appeared before Bella.

"So you have daytime babysitting duty, huh?" Bella asked Alice.

"It's not babysitting, it's girl time!" Alice exclaimed as she busied herself fluffing Bella's pillows and straightening her bed.

"I'm not really sick, remember, Alice?" Bella said, slightly embarrassed by the attention.

"I know, silly, but you deserve some pampering. How about a manicure?" Alice asked, hopeful to be able to do something to help. Bella grimaced, manicures weren't really her thing.

"Alice, why don't you go to school? I will be fine here during the day. It's the night that gets scary…" Bella ended with a low voice and her eyes cast down.

"If that's what you want, Bella." Alice said, a little disappointed. Bella got the feeling that Alice wanted her to sit and talk about what happened. To open up to her best friend about the worst experience of her life. And she couldn't. She just couldn't.

"Not what I want, but what you should do. I'm fine, here, and I need someone to bring me my homework, remember?" Alice brightened at the chance to do something to help. Bella felt guilty for not offering her more opportunities, but then she had been a little preoccupied and resented that she felt guilty. She didn't want to resent her friend so she wanted to send her away on a happy note before she could hurt Alice's feelings again. She was really wishing Edward were here.

"You can sit and fill me in on all the gossip afterschool." If Alice loved anything close to the way she loved clothing and fashion, it was gossip. She looked practically giddy at the thought.

"OK, we will have a total girls' night…well, before you want Edward to come up." Alice paused, obviously wanting to ask something and working very hard to phrase the question in such a way that wouldn't offend Bella.

"Bella, I don't understand what is going on between you and Edward." Alice finally said.

"I've told you, I don't understand why I like his protection, he just makes me feel safe." Bella said, trying to hide her exasperation.

"No…I mean the …uh…kiss last night." Alice finally stammered out. "Curse of being able to see the future, you know." She said as she tapped her head, nervously, to make a point."

"So you saw that, did you?" Bella asked. In one way she was annoyed by the lack of privacy, but it wasn't as if Alice could help it. On the other hand, she was grateful to have a girlfriend to talk to.

"Alice, I don't know what that was. I don't know if it was a pity kiss on his part or why I initiated it. I don't know why I feel so close to Edward. I don't understand anything. Please,_ you _explain it to _me_!" Bella said, her voice rising with anxiety.

"I wish I could, Bella, but be careful, ok? You've been through a lot. I know that I can't understand what you're going through, I'm not saying that at all, but I also know that you are vulnerable right now and I don't want you to heal and my brother to get hurt or my brother to figure out he had the 'Knight in shining armor' syndrome and you to get hurt. You two are two of my favorite people. I just want you to be careful and if you decide to continue with a relationship, think about it long and hard." Alice lectured. Bella chaffed at the lecture, though she didn't know why because Alice did make some sense.

"Relationship? Alice, it was one kiss!" Bella exclaimed.

"It was one Hell of a kiss!" Alice said as she tapped her head again and Bella covered her face with her pillow, embarrassed.

"I don't want to hurt Edward. Maybe I'm relying on him too much. But he makes me feel safe and I just want to feel safe. But, that's selfish, isn't it?"

"It's not selfish because we want to make you feel safe. It's only selfish if you use my brother to make yourself feel better with no intentions of making the relationship something more. Don't get me wrong, my brother and my best friend being together would be a dream come true for me, but you guys barely spoke two words to each other in passing before the…attack…and now you can't let go of him? And you are kissing him? I just want to make sure it's something you both want and not something that will end up hurting either of you. I love you too much." Alice finished with a hug that Bella tried hard not to shrug out of.

"I had better get to school if I'm going." Alice said. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you, today? Edward may have my head for showing up at school, but it's worth it if it's what you want."

"I'm sure. I'm just going to stay in bed today and do some thinking and some much needed sleeping and healing." Bella replied.

"Good! Just what the doctor ordered…literally!" They both giggled and Alice hugged Bella once more before leaving.

Bella got up and looked at herself in the mirror. She would have to remember to put on a high-necked shirt if she was going to walk around with Charlie in the house. The bruises on her throat were a greenish yellow now, but still noticeable. Those on her face had healed to a slight yellow that just made her look sick, not like she had been carrying two black eyes the week before. The split lip had healed into a fine line that could be passed off as dry, cracked lips. She slowly undressed in front of the mirror. The bruises under her clothing were far darker, still, though they were fading. There were hints of green around the edges of blue and purple. Up and down her arms, legs, and torso. Even the hint of a shoe print on her chest. She turned to look at her back, the scratches and cuts having healed into fine lines.

The scars on her legs were very prominent. She would never be able to wear short shorts again. The thought made her sad. But then she realized she would probably never want to show that much of her body again, anyway. The burn scars were still scabbed over, healing slowly but with no sign of infection and the internal infection had nearly healed, she was certain of that because the symptoms had dissipated greatly. She remembered how horrible she'd felt the night it had happened. How her abdomen had ached, how she felt as if she had been torn in two. Now, a week later, those feelings seemed a vivid but distant memory as she stood with no abdominal pain and far less soreness than had been present before. The stitches had likely dissolved inside her and she was just like anyone else again…almost.

Tired of staring at herself in her full-length mirror, she grabbed her bathrobe and headed for the shower. She still felt so dirty. She knew that any remnants of the men had long since been washed away by her sometimes multiple showers per day, but she couldn't fight the need to scrub herself again and again anyway. She stood under the hot water, scrubbing and re-scrubbing until the water ran cold, then exited the shower and went to her room to find clothing. She would have to eat some soup soon. Charlie would likely come home on his lunch break to check on her.

She found a high-necked shirt and a pair of baggy sweatpants and quickly dressed, pulling Edwards sweatshirt he had loaned her for the trip to California over her head. It was a soft, navy blue and it smelled like him. It made her feel safer. She didn't like being alone but was glad she had sent Alice away. It was Edward she yearned for.

As she stood looking at her reflection in the mirror, making sure her bruises were hidden, her stomach rumbled. She wished she could have something more substantial than chicken soup, but she was supposed to have the flu. 'I will add some saltines, maybe that will make it more filling', Bella thought.

While she waited for the soup to heat on the stove, the doorbell rang. Instantly on alert, Bella panicked and started hyperventilating.

"Just chill, Bella. It's probably nothing to worry about. Doorbells ring all the time and what villains actually ring the doorbell before the attack?" Still, she very slowly looked through the peephole in the door and saw that it was a Fed-Ex delivery man with a package. "Charlie must have ordered something. Come on, Miss Paranoia, open the door." And she did, but the package was for her. The same brown paper as the shoes, no return address. This one was much smaller, however, and she couldn't imagine what it could be.

Bella held the package in her shaking hands and leaned her back against the stairwell wall, finally sliding down to keep from falling. The room was spinning, she felt sick, she could smell her soup burning on the stove but could do nothing about it. She just sat there in stunned silence for minutes…hours…she had no idea. She finally began unwrapping the package, slowly as if it might explode in her hands. Inside was another typed note that read 'we thought you might be missing these'. Then it dawned on her what was inside. When she peeled back the tissue paper, she found her bloodied and torn panties from that night.

They were tormenting her. They used her, they broke her, and now they were terrorizing her. It was never going to end. Never. She knew in that moment that she couldn't take the fear, the sadness, the sense of loss and the feelings of utter humiliation and violation. She just couldn't take them anymore.

Without thinking about it, she grabbed her keys and slowly made her way to her truck, not bothering to grab her purse or anything else. She slowly backed out of the driveway and headed towards the highway.

"Yes, Alice?" Mr. Murdy asked, not happy to be interrupted during his lecture.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Murdy, but I'm not feeling well, can I be excused to the nurse's office, please?" Alice looked ashen and panicked. Her eyes dark and terrified. She had just told Jasper what she had seen and the images were so clear, so scary, so horrifying that even as a vampire, she managed to look sick.

"Yes, of course, take a pass with you." Mr. Murdy said and then continued with his lecture.

"Alice nearly bolted out of the room, trying hard to function at normal human speed until she made it to the hallway and then in a split second, she was on the other side of the building, standing in front of Edward's Shakespeare classroom. She closed her eyes and mentally tried to send the images she had seen to him. In a flash, Edward was up and starting towards the door.

"Mr. Cullen!" Mrs. Thompson called out, but he ignored her as he met Alice in the hallway.

"Has it already happened or is it in the future?" Edward asked, grabbing Alice by the arm and rushing her towards the door. There were students in the hallway so he had to go at a frustratingly human pace, though his clip was undoubtedly fast for a human.

"Future, I think. You know it's hard to tell with my visions sometimes." Alice said apologetically.

"I know where she's going, we have to get to her before she gets there. Let's go." Edward didn't pause, his tensed jaw was set, his eyes dark as he headed for the door just as Vice Principal Morgan stepped into his path.

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Cullen, where do you think you are going?" Mr. Morgan asked, his arms crossed, clearly intending to block Edward's escape. Edward simply pushed passed him, dragging Alice with him who shrugged at Mr. Morgan and smiled as if she were confused.

"Mr. Cullen! Get back here this instant!" Edward ignored Mr. Morgan and continued running towards the parking lot at barely a human pace, Alice right along with him. They climbed into his Volvo and hit the road, immediately accelerating, trying to race to catch up to Bella.

Bella pushed her old truck as fast as it would go, which was only 45mph, but she hoped that would be enough. She had to find a safe place to do it because she didn't want anyone coming upon the wreckage on a blind corner and getting hurt. That's when she saw them in the distance. The poles that held the banner across the highway announcing Forks Logging Festival in May. Bella made sure no one was behind her and she pointed her truck directly at the pole on her side of the road and unhooked her seatbelt.

Never touching the breaks, the truck struck the pole with such force that the front end folded in on itself and the steering wheel was pressed into Bella's head, neck, and chest. The dash board crumpled in to pin one of her legs beneath it, her elbow shattering the side window.

Edward and Alice came upon the smoking scene precious seconds later and Alice was already on the phone with the 9-1-1 operator when they did.


	7. Chapter 7: Shocking Revelations

Chapter 7: Shocking Revelation

"Bella? Can you hear me?" Edward begged her to respond as he sped to her side of the banged up pickup truck. He was amazed at how little the cab of the truck was damaged. He could see Bella's leg was trapped beneath the slightly shifted dashboard and that she had taken a knock to the head from the steering wheel that had reopened her healed cut, but aside from that, she appeared to be untouched.

"Edward?" She mumbled. "Couldn't take anymore…another package…just wanted it to be over…" Then she lost consciousness and it was a painfully long several seconds before they heard the emergency responders on their way.

"Alice, call Carlisle. Have him ready at the hospital. No one else touches her!" He practically growled at his sister as he stood, holding Bella's head still against the steering wheel with one hand and stroking her back with the other.

Charlie arrived on the scene a few seconds before the paramedics. He jumped out of his squad car, lights blazing and siren blaring, and ran up to Edward.

"What happened, Edward?" He looked at Edward suspiciously, as if he was somehow responsible.

"I don't know, Chief Swan. I was taking Alice home because she wasn't feeling well and we came upon the wreck. I don't know what happened. We found her like this." Edward sounded so helpless, so lost, that Charlie felt the need to comfort him.

"I'm sure she will be fine, son. These old trucks can take a beating without hurting anyone too seriously. Is your father working today? I hear he is the best at the hospital!"

"Yes, and Alice has already called him to tell him to be on standby."

"Thanks, Edward." And Charlie nudged his way in to replace Edward at Bella's side just as the paramedics finally arrived, the fire department close behind.

It took the fire department to remove the door of the truck and to extract her from under the dashboard, and then the paramedics quickly went to work stabilizing her neck and lying her on a gurney. When they went to put her in the ambulance, Alice held Edward back as Charlie climbed in beside Bella, holding her pale hand.

"Come on, Edward. We will drive straight to the hospital. We'll follow the ambulance." Alice pulled on his arm until she got him into the passenger seat of the car and then climbed into the driver's side herself. She started following the ambulance to Forks General Hospital, carefully obeying the traffic laws, which was driving Edward crazy. All was silent as she thought for a few moments about how to say to him, what she needed to say.

"Edward, I can tell how much you are starting to feel for Bella. I can see your future, I know that you are really starting to fall in love with her. But, I can't see her future because she is so confused and lost right now. I can't tell if she reciprocates your feelings or not. So, be careful. I don't want you hurt and I don't want her scared away. She is very vulnerable right now and—"Edward cut Alice off mid-sentence.

"Don't you think I know that? I'm the one who lies next to her all night and listens to her whimper! I'm the one she talks to and cries to and turns to when she needs someone. I know how vulnerable she is and I wish I could turn it off, Alice. I don't know what's happening. Two weeks ago, I barely knew who Isabella Swan was and now I ache when she isn't right next to me. I don't get it any more than any of you do. I just know what I feel and that I can't get her out of my head!"

Alice let Edward finish his tirade and calm down before she spoke again.

"I'm sorry, Edward. It's just that Bella is my best friend and I don't want to see her get hurt. I don't want you to have feelings for her because you feel sorry for her and then they go away when she has healed, emotionally, from this whole mess. That is if she doesn't manage to kill herself first."

"I'm sorry about my tantrum, Alice. I know you are worried about Bella. But, I can assure you, my feelings are going nowhere. But, it isn't as if I would ever act on them unless I knew that Bella reciprocated. And as for the kiss, if you saw what happened, you saw that _she _kissed _me_, not the other way around." Edward tried to defend himself while acknowledging his sister's feelings for Bella.

"I know. I saw it all." Alice said, and that was the last thing either of them said as they pulled into the Forks General Hospital parking lot and watched the ambulance carrying Bella and Charlie disappear into the ambulance bay. Edward was out of the car before Alice had even turned it off and was on his way inside. Once there, however, he met Charlie at the ER desk.

"Charlie, how is she?" Edward demanded, throwing Charlie off guard.

"Your father is with her now. He wouldn't let me stay. He said that kids Bella's age tend to freak if their father's see them naked and they were going to have to cut her clothes off and do a thorough examination. Neither of us would want that." Charlie said, almost as if he were defending his separation from Bella.

"Was she conscious in the ambulance? Did she say anything?"

"She never fully woke up but kept mumbling something about packages and blood and kept asking for you, Edward. Is there a reason she would be asking for you, son?" But he said 'son' as if it was a dirty word.

"We've grown rather close over the last week and a half, sir." And Edward cleared his throat under Charlie's glare.

"Have you, now? Exactly how close?"

"Just friends, Chief Swan. Bella and I have gotten to know each other a little better since she vacationed with us and we've become good friends."

"Good friends. OK." Charlie uttered with relief. Edward turned away to hide the chagrined look on his face. Every fiber of his being hoped that they were becoming more than friends but he knew that it was too soon for Bella to go there.

Alice motioned Edward over to the waiting room, she seemed desperate to tell him something. And when Alice had something to tell, it was usually very desperate, indeed.

"What is it, Alice?" Edward asked.

"It struck me when Charlie said 'packages' that Bella mentioned plural packages at the scene before she lost consciousness, as well. I did a little mental searching, and Bella received a new package today. I think that I need to go to their house and retrieve it before Charlie gets home and finds it." Alice said with urgency.

"What's in it?" Edward asked with trepidation.

"Her bloody panties from that night." Alice replied.

"Go, get them before anyone finds them but be careful not to contaminate the evidence in case it is needed someday." Edward instructed.

"OK, but I will be back soon. I want to be here when Carlisle comes out with news." And as fast as she could move and still appear human, Alice ran to the car and tore out of the lot.

"Where is she going?" Charlie asked. Surprised at her exit.

"To tell Esme and the rest of the family. They would want to know what's happening."

"I don't even know what's happening." Charlie said and sat down hard with his face in his hands. Edward sat next to him.

"It must have been some kind of freak accident, that's all." Edward tried to reassure Charlie.

"Of course it was an accident, Edward!" Charlie practically yelled at Edward for eluding to anything otherwise. "But, why didn't she hit her brakes?"

Edward and Charlie sat in silence for two hours as news spread of Bella's "accident" and soon after the Cullens arrived, half of the Forks High student body started trickling in saying that they couldn't concentrate on school with Bella in the hospital so their parents had given them permission to leave early.

'Hell, half of these people have never even met Bella', Edward thought, angry that they were using her for an afternoon off from school. It was Esme who took over the job of consoling Charlie, something she was quite adept at, and Edward wandered into the hallway all alone, standing near the ER door.

Suddenly, Alice's posture and expression caught his eye. She looked ashen and shaken and as soon as the vision finished, she quietly joined him.

"Edward, there is something I have to tell you. Carlisle just found out…he just got the results back…"

"What? Is she going to be OK? Alice, what is it?" Edward struggled to keep his voice to a whisper in his panic.

"Edward, Bella is pregnant." Alice finished, looking sick and quickly glancing around to make sure no one was close enough to hear their conversation. As she glanced, though, she saw every Cullen head pop up and stare in shock. They had heard above the melee in the waiting room. They had heard her whisper. Their vampire hearing had picked up what she had said and now seven vampires knew her secret even before Bella did, herself.

"What do you mean, pregnant?" Edward stammered. It was impossible. Bella was a virgin before the rape. He had heard she and Alice discussing it. The whole house had. Bella had a way of forgetting that everyone could hear them when she stayed over. So it had to be the rape that had gotten her pregnant. One of her three attackers. It took everything in him not to punch a wall but he knew that with the rage he was feeling, the hospital would lose an entire wing if that happened.

"I don't know how else to say it. Pregnant. Carlisle is trying to figure out how to tell her now." Alice answered.

"I want to be there when he does. She needs me."

"I agree, but how do you do that with Charlie right here?" Alice asked

"Easy, he comes discreetly with me," Carlisle whispered from the other side of the ER door. "Alice, you cover for him if anyone asks. Just make sure you aren't seen, Edward." With the speed of a vampire, Edward was through the door and on the other side before anyone could even see the door move and Alice was left standing alone, leaning against the wall.

Edward stared at Bella lying in the stark, white bed looking so small and so tired but with her eyes wide open, which was a welcomed sight. Her left arm was in a cast to the shoulder and her right leg up to the knee. She had oxygen tubes running from her nose and IV tubes going into both arms. She just looked so broken. She hadn't yet noticed Edward's presence.

"Edward," Carlisle whispered, "she is still a little sedated from the pain killers. But I need to tell her before Charlie comes in, which will be soon. Will you stay with her while I do so? She draws so much comfort from you and her injuries require that she stay calm."

"I will do my best, Carlisle," Edward whispered back as he moved into Bella's view.

"Edward!" She tried to exclaim but her raspy voice was too low for much of an exclamation. "You're here!"

"Where else would I be, Bella? Alice saw what was going to happen and we raced to stop you but we were too late." Edward said, obviously pained.

"I'm sorry, I know how stupid I was. I was just so shocked and so tired. I just couldn't take it anymore. Does Charlie know what I did?"

"Not exactly, but I think he suspects. He knows you didn't hit the brakes when you went towards the pole, so if you want to hide what really happened, better come up with something quick." Bella took her good arm and put it over her black eyes, which had returned, as had a split lip, and what appeared to be a broken nose had appeared. There were also new bruises peeking out from the top of the night gown in the shape of the bottom of a steering wheel. The nightgown did nothing to hide her bruises from the attack, however.

"Carlisle, before Charlie comes in, can you get her a jacket or a robe or something to cover her arms?" Edward asked. Bella instantly looked down and a panicked look appeared on her face.

"Charlie doesn't know what happened that night, right? He doesn't have to, does he?" She looked back and forth between Carlisle and Edward.

"No, Bella, he doesn't know. But there is something we need to talk about." Carlisle said gravely.

"Don't worry, I will be here the entire time," Edward said.

"Bella, there is a certain blood test we have to run before we do x-rays if time allows us to and we did that for you. That test tells us whether or not you should receive radiation." Carlisle began.

"So are you telling me that I have some kind of cancer or something?"

"No, Bella. I'm trying to tell you that you're…that is to say that you are…well, pregnant."

"WHAT? Came Charlie's booming voice from the doorway to the ER. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S PREGNANT?" And now everyone in the waiting room knew what Bella herself was just discovering. Carlisle quickly moved to close the door and usher Charlie in.

"And why is Edward the one in here when you tell her? Why not her own father? Wait…I get it! You bastard! You said that you were just friends. That baby is yours, isn't it?" Charlie looked at Edward as if he could rip his head off single handedly, vampire or not, and Edward had an inspiration.

"Yes, Chief Swan. My dad brought me in here to help tell Bella about the pregnancy because the baby is mine." There were hushed whispers outside the door as Esme tried to clear people away to give them some privacy, but to no avail, until Emmett stood in front of the door.

"Get the Hell out of here! You have all the gossip you need, now go!" Emmett boomed and people scattered, picking up their belongings and heading out as fast as they could. No one messed with Emmett Cullen.

So far, Bella had said nothing. She just remained frozen with a shocked look on her face and a feeling of dread and disgust in her gut. Esme entered the room and Bella was happy to see a woman's face. Bella grabbed Esme's hand and held both hers and Edwards for dear life as her father seethed at the end of the bed, a look of disappointment veiled by the anger.

"You get my child knocked up and then you have the nerve to sit next to me and tell me you are 'friends'? I trusted you. I trusted all of you, and this is what happened under your roof?" Charlie was still seething.

"Actually, Dad, it happened under your roof and Edward didn't have to force me to do anything I didn't want to do. This was not planned, it was an accident, but it's one we have to deal with now." Bella spoke for the first time, calmly and collected.

"Bella, I—" Charlie couldn't continue. He simply turned and walked out of the room.

Bella looked at Edward and reached for him with her good arm. He grabbed her and held her close to his chest, careful not to hurt her.

"Be careful, Edward. She has a bruised sternum and a break just above her wrist and just above her ankle but both are clean and should heal properly." Carlisle, ever the doctor, didn't know what else to do but give a rundown of the physical damage.

"Edward, why did you do that? Why did you claim responsibility for the…the…THIS?" Bella asked as she waved a hand over her abdomen.

"I couldn't have you forced to tell him until or unless you were ready to, Bella. And I knew that you weren't ready to do that, yet. I don't care if Charlie is mad or the rumor mill runs. I just want you safe and sound and able to do what you want to do about the fetus without anyone's input." Edward tried to console her.

"The 'fetus'? So there is no way there's been a mistake?" Bella asked Carlisle, who shook his head grimly.

"I'm sorry Bella, but no. No mistake. I had them run the blood test three times and all three times came up positive."

"I can't be pregnant. I just can't be. That would be the cruelest, cosmic joke. For me to be pregnant would be almost impossible. One time. My first time. No. The test has to be wrong." Bella's voice rose in panic.

"Bella, calm down, this isn't good for you. You've been in a terrible…er…accident." Edward said, trying to calm her.

"Bella, is your period late?" Carlisle prodded gently, trying to get her to accept reality.

She thought for a long moment, counting days and then realization washed over her face.

"I guess I was so shell-shocked that I didn't realize that I am a couple of days late." Bella mused to herself. "But stress can make someone late, right? Can stress cause a false pregnancy test? Please, Carlisle, please tell me that stress can cause a false pregnancy test!" She started to panic again, her raspy voice rising to an obviously painful level before Edward calmly placed his hand on her forehead and gently laid her back on the pillows, and stroked her face.

"No, Bella, honey. There can be no false positive on a pregnancy test. Not on a blood test. It is definitive. You are pregnant, but obviously very early.

"Pregnant? How can this be happening?" Bella asked Edward, begging him with the tone of her voice to wake her from this nightmare. "And why did you tell my Dad it's yours? You know everyone will believe that, now. Why put yourself on the hook like that, Edward?"

"To protect your secret. I know you aren't ready to tell your father, and you may never be, but I didn't want you forced into it and I would rather his anger be taken out on me than on you if you refused to tell him who the father is…" Edward prattled on, nervous that he had done the wrong thing.

"Thank you, Edward. I'm sorry, Carlisle and Esme, that your son has put himself in the line of fire for me, but I couldn't be more grateful." Carlisle and Esme looked pointedly at each other.

"We just wish it hadn't come to that. I wish I could have kept Charlie from noticing that Edward was gone and figuring out that he was likely at your bedside and walking in at just the right moment. It was like a bad movie, believe me!" Esme said. "It would have been best if you could have had time to consider your options before your father found out. He may not have ever had to know at all."

"You mean abortion? I never thought I could do that. I never thought I could even consider abortion, but how can I carry the bastard child of three rapists to term and raise it on my own?"

"No matter what you choose, Bella, I am here for you. I will support you emotionally and financially, if it comes to that, whatever decision you make. There is also adoption. There are plenty of families who would love to have a baby, just so you know all of your options to consider." Edward pointed out.

"Carry it to term and then give it to someone else to raise? I don't know what to do. What would you do, Esme?" Bella asked, desperate for someone to make it go away.

"It isn't up to me to say, Bella. This is your decision to make. I don't imagine Charlie would support an abortion or adoption, so you can count on our family for all of the support you need. I promise you that." Esme replied.

"Thanks, Esme. That means a lot. Do you know where my Dad has gone? I should talk to him alone."

"I can hear him pacing the hallway outside your room. Perhaps Edward and I should leave and Carlisle can speak to the two of you about your other injuries and then leave you and Charlie alone to talk?" Esme suggested.

"That sounds like a plan. Not a plan I'm necessarily happy with, but a plan nonetheless." Bella answered, resigned.

Edward leaned down and gave Bella a kiss on the forehead and she tilted her head back and kissed him on the lips, surprising everyone with her open affection and her ability to feel something for him after all that had happened. It was a chaste kiss, over quickly, and when Bella realized what she'd done in front of an audience, her face burned red and Edward grinned.

"We will go get your father." He said as he kissed her forehead again and put her hand down at her side.

Edward and Esme found Charlie walking outside the nurses' station fuming and muttering to himself. Esme tapped him on the shoulder and told him that Bella was asking for him, which made him look worried but did little to dissipate his anger and disappointment. Edward wanted to punch him for making her see that look on his face and deal with the repercussions of something that wasn't her fault, but he had to remind himself that Charlie didn't know it wasn't her fault. As far as he knew, his responsible, virginal daughter had just been incredibly careless and irresponsible and gotten herself knocked up. It was still difficult not to punch him with his balled up fists, though. Sensing the tension, Esme stood between the two.

"You and I will talk later. When I'm not wearing my gun." Charlie said to Edward and then stormed into Bella's room. Edward stayed close enough to hear the entire conversation.

"Hello Chief Swan. I apologize for the unprofessional way you were informed of Bella's delicate situation, but as her father, I need to inform you of her other injuries as well as the prognosis and treatment." Charlie said nothing to Carlisle, only listened.

"She has a bone bruise on her sternum, which is quite painful, but fortunately isn't broken. She has a fracture on her left arm, just above the wrist, and a fracture of her right leg, just above the ankle. Both are good, clean fractures so we expect them to be healed in about six weeks. She will wear casts until then. She does have a moderate concussion where her head hit the steering wheel and took 15 stitches to close the wound but the scar will be in her hairline and hardly noticeable once it has healed. She shows no signs of any internal bleeding, which is very fortunate on her part, considering how squarely she hit the steering wheel and the fact that she wasn't wearing a seatbelt—"

"What do you mean she wasn't wearing a seatbelt? Bella Swan, you know better than that! You certainly aren't the responsible person I thought you were. Any other careless behavior I need to know about? Besides your being pregnant, of course?" Charlie interrupted and spat out the last sentence as if it gave him a bad taste in his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Dad. For everything." Bella said meekly, staring at her hands the entire time. She didn't have the courage to look her father in the face.

"She will be fine to go home in a day or two, provided no fevers pop up and the pain is well controlled." Carlisle continued as if Charlie hadn't interrupted. "She will need some help bathing and taking care of herself for a while…I could volunteer—"

"Don't you DARE say Edward!" Carlisle shouted.

"I was going to volunteer Alice to stay at your home with you or Esme to come take care of things on an as-needed basis, whatever you prefer. But Bella will be bed-bound until both casts come off because she can't use crutches and she won't be able to use a walking cast with the kind of break she has, so she will be finishing the school year at home. I'm sure I could get the school to also let Alice finish up at home. She is a straight A student and has never given them any trouble. I will leave the two of you to discuss arrangements and you can let me know."

"Right now, I can't even look at you, Bells. I think it's best if you go home with the Cullens at this point. It isn't like Edward can do anymore damage and Esme can take better care of you there."

With that, Carlisle left the room and an embarrassed Bella lay trapped beneath her father's burning gaze.

"Don't you have anything to say for yourself?"

"What can I say? I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did. I'm sorry."

"Getting pregnant doesn't JUST happen!" Charlie yelled. "Bella, you are smarter than this. At least I thought you were! What happened to my little girl? What happened to the intelligent, careful, young woman you were growing into? What about your future? Have you thought of that?"

"I'm thinking about my future. I'm considering my options and—"

"Your _options_? What do you mean your _options_?"

"I mean the possibility of raising the baby, giving the baby up for adoption, or…well…not having the baby."

"An ABORTION? No daughter of mine will ever get an abortion! If you do, you will no longer be a daughter of mine!" Charlie turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, Edward hiding behind the nurses' station just in time. Esme standing in the hallway with Carlisle, both crushed for Bella.

Edward was angry as Hell and wanting to get into her room as soon as Charlie was far enough away. Esme went to the window to see if Charlie's cruiser, brought over by another policeman earlier, would disappear while Edward slipped back into Bella's room.

He found her sobbing, the tears running down her cheeks and soaking the pillow beneath her head. His heart nearly broke seeing her that way. She was already so broken and for Charlie to be so angry and so mean. He knew that he had a right to be disappointed, but to be so pointedly cruel was uncalled for. She was still his daughter and was carrying his grandchild, after all.

"Bella, honey, it's ok." He gently took her in his arms and she cried against his chest. It was difficult to maneuver around the casts and the tubes in her arms, but they managed. He rocked her back and forth as she sobbed. Finally, all cried out, she lay back down. She looked so pale and so tired.

All Bella wanted to do was sleep. It had been a horrible day. Getting that awful package in the mail, her suicide attempt, which she couldn't even pull that off correctly, then finding out she was pregnant. But she knew if she slept, the nightmares would come, so she fought it as long as she could. The pain medicine finally won out, though, and she drifted into a fitful slumber with Edward holding her hand. She didn't even ask anymore, she just knew that he would be there for her.

Carlisle and Esme entered the room quietly, having heard Bella's steady breathing from the hallway. They used the speed and stealth of vampires to reach her bedside so as not to disturb her.

"Edward," Esme whispered loudly enough so that only a vampire could hear, "how is she doing?"

"How do you think she is doing?" Edward said sarcastically. "I'm sorry, Esme. I'm still a little keyed up from Charlie's reaction."

"It's ok, son, I know that she means a great deal to you. I know that you want to protect her. Unfortunately none of us can protect her from the decision she is going to have to make. But we can be there to support her, answer any questions the two of you may discuss, anything you need. She has roughly 8 ½ weeks to make the decision to end the pregnancy if that's what she chooses." Esme tried to comfort Edward.

"8 ½ weeks? How does that work?" Edward asked, confused. He thought a woman had 12 weeks to decide and Bella had been attacked only a week and a half earlier.

"A pregnancy is counted from two weeks before conception, Edward." Carlisle answered. "That gives her 8 ½ weeks to decide whether or not to terminate."

"I wonder what she will decide?" Edward pondered, not envying her position.


	8. Chapter 8: Take Things As They Come

Chapter 8: Take Things As They Come

Carlisle came into the room two hours later and found Edward and Bella curled up together, Bella sleeping peacefully in Edward's arms.

"Son, what if I had been Charlie walking through that door?"

"Screw Charlie. He practically throws her away, I don't care what he thinks!"

"Well, Bella may care."

"She's the one who asked me to get in next to her so she could sleep."

"OK, but we have to wake her up now. With a concussion like hers, it isn't a good thing for her to sleep more than a couple of hours. She should try to eat some broth and Jello while she is up." As if on cue, a nurse came through the door with a tray and sat it down and began opening containers.

Edward sighed and started to shift his weight so he could see Bella's face and stroke her cheek lightly. The cold usually woke her gently.

"Bella? Bella, honey?" She stirred but shrank down into the covers with an irritated pout that made him grin. "Bella, you've been sleeping for a while and you need to wake up for the nurse to check your vitals." Her eyes popped open and she looked guilty, as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have been, practically tossing him out of the bed.

"Sorry, forgot where I was for a little while."

"That's a good thing, baby." And then Edward stopped and mentally kicked himself for calling her 'baby'. What was he thinking? He wasn't thinking, he was feeling, that was the problem. Bella just grinned at him and flushed a bright pink.

The nurse declared her fit to eat her dinner of chicken broth and Jello and left the room.

"Ugh, Carlisle, why don't I get a real meal? Something in the salad family, perhaps?"

"You have a pretty bad concussion, Bella, from not wearing your seatbelt and hitting the steering wheel head-on. That tends to cause nausea, especially when you eat and with that bruised sternum, vomiting anything with more texture than water would be incredibly painful. So we start slowly. Maybe a salad for dinner tomorrow night if you hold down your broth meals until then, ok? Breakfast just may be oatmeal!" He said brightly, as if that could make her feel better.

"I took it off." She whispered, almost inaudible.

"You took what off, Bella?" Carlisle asked as she stared at her hands, obviously upset.

"The seatbelt. Just before the truck hit the pole, I took my seatbelt off."

"So it wasn't an accident, then." Carlisle prodded.

"No. It wasn't. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn't thinking. I was reacting." Then something dawned on her. "Oh God! The package! Charlie will find the package with…with…my—"

"No, Bella, he won't. Alice picked it up right after you were brought in here. She did some mental investigating as to why you would purposely want to ram your truck into a pole and discovered the package and its contents. I'm sorry that you had to face that alone, but you won't be going back to Charlie's for now. You will be staying with us. So no more worries about opening packages on your own."

"I wasn't dreaming, then? My Dad really did kick me out?" She stirred her broth, never taking a sip and watching it cool as she moved it around.

"He didn't kick you out, baby, he just thinks that maybe the two of you need some space for a while, that's all.

"Did he tell you that?" She asked, hopefully.

"No, he just threatened to shoot me and left, but it was implied, I'm sure of it." That earned a small giggle and a small sip of broth. She made a face and put her spoon down.

"Go after that Jello. I hear red is the best flavor!" Edward encouraged her to eat something.

"How would you know? You don't even eat! Of course you would think blood red anything would be the best flavor." Bella teased and Carlisle chuckled.

"True, true. But eat it anyway." Edward picked up a spoon and scooped up the Jello and gave Bella a big bite. She laughed behind her hand as she attempted to chew the huge amount he had given her and he was grateful for her seemingly improved mood.

"Come on, there's plenty more where that came from!" Edward smiled as he threatened her with another overflowing spoonful of the jiggling goo.

"No, no more! Please!" Bella pleaded as she laughed. Edward loved to hear her laugh. He realized it had been a long time since he had heard that delicious sound.

"Take it easy on her, son, she needs to go slowly." Carlisle interjected.

"Alright, Carlisle, take all the fun away!" Edward said, mocking dejected as he put the spoon down and Bella continued to giggle.

"I think you two have this under control! I will leave you to it, but you also need your rest. So don't keep her up too long, Edward. She needs those two hour naps." Carlisle chided as he placed Bella's chart back in its place on the end of the bed and walked out of the room.

"I can feed myself, you know." Bella finally managed after swallowing the mammoth-sized bite of Jello. Edward looked embarrassed and handed her the spoon. "But that was more fun." And she giggled again. It was a welcomed sound, it had been awhile since he'd heard her giggle.

"Finish this gourmet meal, then it's lights-out for you!" Bella got a sad, scared look on her face, though she tried to hide it from him.

"Are you leaving, then?"

"No way! I'm here as long as you are here!" And he leaned down and gave her a sweet kiss that tasted like strawberry Jello.

"What are we doing, Edward? What is this for you? I know what I'm feeling, but I'm confused about so many other things. I'm not confused about you, though."

'I think we are falling for each other.' Edward thought before giving her a long, lingering kiss. "I've never felt this way for a girl before." He finally finished.

"I've never felt this way for a guy before." Bella whispered.

"So how about we skip labels and just let things happen as they happen?" Edward suggested and Bella looked relieved. "No expectations, no pressure. Just enjoying each other's company."

"That sounds like a plan." Bella smiled and instinctively curled up on one side of the bed, making room for him on the other side.

"I love watching you sleep, sweet Bella." And they fell into a passionate kiss, their tongues playing the timeless dance of budding lovers. Finally Edward pulled away.

"Almost as much as I love kissing you, but sleep must come first or my father will have my head!"

"Alright, alright!" She relented, hands raised. She turned her back to him and snuggled against him, quickly falling into a sound, peaceful sleep.

There was a knock at Charlie's door. He wasn't in the mood for visitors. He had just gotten off the phone with a hysterical Renee who was convinced that Bella's life had gone to Hell because she'd moved to Forks and "what else is there to do in Forks but drugs or have sex?" Charlie just rubbed the bridge of his nose as the knock sounded again. This time more forceful. As he pulled open the door, he found the Cullen women on his front steps.

"Great, Cullens, just who I want to see."

"We've come to get some of Bella's things. Carlisle tells me that you want Bella to come stay with us for a while. At least while she heals." Esme said curtly, not really in the mood for small talk but ever the level-headed one in the room, trying to ignore his rudeness. Alice and Rosalie stood by in silence, obviously seething.

"Fine, go. Take whatever you want. Alice knows the way." And Charlie opened the door wider, letting them enter with their empty suitcases. Alice and Rosalie stomped upstairs to Bella's room while Esme watched Charlie flop onto the couch and, judging by the number of cans on the coffee table, pop open his 7th can of beer. Rather large cans, at that. She walked into the living room and sat on the chair opposite him.

"Drowning your sorrows isn't going to help Bella. She needs you, you know. Now more than ever."

"Bella got herself into this mess, she can get herself out of it. And you Cullens knew what was happening and didn't say a word!"

"Don't go accusing people of something unless you know it's true, Charlie Swan. We had no idea Edward was going to share the news that he was the father. We heard it for the first time when you did. But we don't abandon our children in their time of need and how you can is beyond me. Stop drinking your beer and go talk to Bella when you're sober. I think you'll find that she is a scared little girl with a huge problem on her hands that she doesn't know how to face and has little in the way of a support system to face it."

"What do you mean you didn't know, either? So Edward being the potential father was news to you, too? And yet you remained so calm? How? I know how. It's your SON. Not your DAUGHTER. Your son can walk away. Throw a little money at the problem and not be responsible for anything else. It's Bella who has to face the world with a growing belly, with a kid on her hip at 17."

"How dare you accuse Edward of such a thing. You don't even know Edward!" Esme was losing her cool, which rarely happens.

"Yeah? Well whose fault is that?" They just stared at each other for a long, tense moment. A mama bear and a papa bear, both angry, both defending their own, when Esme simply got up and ascended the stairs to help the girls.

When she arrived in Bella's room, Rosalie was taking the clothing out of the closet and Alice was focusing on the chest of drawers.

"Is there anything in here that Bella might want to comfort her?" Esme asked.

"No, I don't think Bella will find much comfort at home for a while." Alice replied.

"So is her dad still being a dick?"

"Rosalie! Language! And yes, he is still being a particular part of the male anatomy. Why can't he see how much she is suffering?" Esme scolded and then mused.

"To be fair, he doesn't know what happened. Maybe if he did, it would make a difference." Rosalie responded.

"It shouldn't make a difference. I don't care if Bella had sex with the entire football team, she would still deserve his support and love at this trying time. Not his judgment and hatefulness." Esme grew more frustrated by the second.

"Let's just finish this up and get out of here. We will have Edward's room all set up for her when she gets out of the hospital. I think she will find comfort in that." Alice said.

"Bella, honey, it's time to wake up again." Edward stroked her cheek and she stirred. He loved the way she pouted when he had to wake her. But then again, he loved everything about her.

"Come on, baby, it's time to wake up…the nurse is here to take your vitals again and they've brought more yummy gourmet food!" Bella's eyes snapped open as she came to the realization that she was still in the hospital and still clinging to Edward in front of a nurse. She tried pushing him out of the bed but he just laughed and slowly unfolded himself into an upright position next to her bed at his own pace.

"I don't suppose there is a veggie burger in there, is there?" Bella asked, hopefully."

"Sorry, kiddo. Broth, Jello, and coffee." The nurse responded, sympathetically.

"Coffee? I can't have a veggie burger but I can have coffee? Thank God for small miracles!"

"One cup a day is safe for the baby." The nurse said off handedly as she fluffed Bella's pillows and busied herself about the room. Edward saw Bella visibly shift from a good mood to one of shock and horror. She didn't speak until the nurse finally left.

"I knew it wasn't a dream, but I didn't want to talk about it until I HAD to." Bella whispered to Edward, her eyes downcast and her tray untouched. He gently grabbed her hands in his, sitting next to her on the bed and pushing the tray out of the way with his shoulder. She silently laid her head on his chest and they sat like that for several minutes before Edward spoke.

"Baby, I know you don't want to talk about the fetus. I can't begin to understand what you are feeling, I'm not trying to say that, but I understand why you would want to hide from the situation and pretend it doesn't exist. But, Bella, it does exist and you have precious little time to decide what you are going to do, how you are going to proceed. Maybe we do need to talk about this. After all, I'm in this with you, now. I'm here for you every step of the way, no matter what you decide to do.

"Abortion makes sense. I know that it does. How could I look into the face of a child born to a rapist and love it? And how could I carry that child for nine months knowing that the product of that rape grows inside of me, feeds off of me and then give it away? But if I choose to abort the…fetus…then the whole town will know. I don't know what to do, Edward. I just don't know what is best for everyone."

"Bella, forgive my language, but fuck everyone else and what they think. You need to do what is best for you and your sanity right now and if they can't handle that, then it is their problem. I heard what Charlie said, that he wouldn't call you his daughter anymore if you had an abortion, but he was just angry. I'm sure he would change his mind eventually." Bella just shook her head against Edward's chest.

"No, Edward. My Dad doesn't say things he doesn't mean. He meant it. I would no longer be a part of his family. I would probably have to leave Forks and go stay with Mom and Phil in Florida. But I couldn't bear to leave you. Not now. Maybe not ever." Bella finished with a whisper.

"Then you would stay with us!" Edward exclaimed. They continued to discuss their options, not knowing that Esme and Carlisle were listening from the hallway.

"Poor Bella. I don't envy her choice." Esme said as she shook her head sadly. "I still can't believe she was raped, and now this?"

"I know, Esme, darling. It's too much for any human girl to handle. You remember Rosalie, nearly sickened with rage and hatred? I expected that from Bella but I suppose she isn't Rose, is she?"

"Not by a long shot! Bella internalizes things, pretends they don't exist. It's how she has always handled everything. She just goes about her daily business just like it is a business and tries not to feel. But when she finally feels, finally lets it in, she feels so deeply that she does things like crash trucks into poles and consider taking painkillers to overdose because she just can't handle those deep emotions on her own. She isn't like our Rosalie at all. You always know what Rose is feeling."

"Did you get her all moved into the house?"

"Yes, we put her in Edward's room. We thought she might like it best in there." Esme mused.

"Yes, you are probably right in that assumption." Carlisle agreed.

"I'm really worried about her, Carlisle. If it was just the baby she had to deal with, I think she could handle that and come through the other side wounded but whole. But she hasn't even had time to deal with the rape, her father throws her out, the entire town thinks that Edward got her pregnant and now she has to decide what to do about that pregnancy. We will have to keep a close eye on her." Esme's forehead wrinkled with concern.

"I think you are right. Legally, I'm supposed to report the suicide attempt, but I'm playing ignorant and pretending that I don't know whether it was an accident or not. The police are assuming that she fell asleep. I hope I'm not doing her a disservice, but if they find out the truth, it's a mandatory 72 hour psych hold and I don't want to put Bella through that if I can help it."

"That's good of you, Carlisle. You are a good man." And Esme stood on her tiptoes to give him a chaste peck on the lips before declaring herself late for her errands and leaving him standing in the hallway alone to ponder everything that had happened in less than two weeks. Carlisle stood, shaking his head, afraid to think of what could come next.


End file.
